So a guy who makes a career out of figuring new and interesting ways to explain the same exact zombie apocalypse without explaining why it's happening or where it's coming from over a span of more than fifty years decides--what the hey--let's try something different.
He should have stuck to zombies.
BRUISER, literally one of the worst pieces of moving frames sewn together by people that honestly must have been questioning their own sanity after day two of this tripe, involves Jason Flemyng playing Henry Creedlow, a nice guy stuck in an alternate universe where not only does the nice guy finish last, he finishes so much in dead last that apparently all of planet Earth is going out of its way to $%#& him royally. Even his SERVANTS are getting in on the game of screwing him, in some way or another. His wife's being nailed by his boss, his boss is a giant child, and there's one girl in the office who sees him as more than just a gigantic carpet in which to walk over, Rosemary Lewlie, played by the wonderful (and beautiful) Leslie Hope, who probably thought that being cast in a George A. Romero film would help her career.
Well so much for THAT.
When my ex and I watched this disaster of a film, we looked at each other in awe as to its awfulness. We fast-forwarded through most of it, and for die-hard film lovers out there who want to cry foul, let me tell you something--I managed to force myself to ingest BATMAN V SUPERMAN for the sake of film criticism, and at least I can say that Ben Affleck as Batman and Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor Jr. kept me at least AWAKE long enough to hate THAT waste of film.
There's nobody here to like, because there isn't enough pacing to MAKE me like them. I mentioned Leslie Hope before, because she IS beautiful, and can actually act (I suppose somebody should find her agent and burn him or her ALIVE for making her do this garbage) but she alone as a sympathetic co-star cannot hold this Wreck of the Hesperus together long enough for me to withstand it. Hell, even Peter Stormare (whom I desperately LOVE as an actor. No really! That last sequence he pulled off in CONSTANTINE impressed me to the point where I actually went to the trouble to learn his name and look up his accomplishments. And that's saying something) couldn't make me patiently watch this abomination.
Steer clear, fellow movie watchers. Salute Mr. Romero, for taking his holidays away from the brain-eaters, but remember that the gods put him here for a purpose--and that purpose is to serve us well-tasting zombie-fare, done by a master of the genre. Forever more, every other film-maker will always be pulling second, looking up to the great Romero for advice on how to explore the world of half-dead brain-eaters that we all love so much. Probably because they represent half of society.
And probably because we WISH we could blow all of their stupid @#$%&*& heads off in the process.
He should have stuck to zombies.
BRUISER, literally one of the worst pieces of moving frames sewn together by people that honestly must have been questioning their own sanity after day two of this tripe, involves Jason Flemyng playing Henry Creedlow, a nice guy stuck in an alternate universe where not only does the nice guy finish last, he finishes so much in dead last that apparently all of planet Earth is going out of its way to $%#& him royally. Even his SERVANTS are getting in on the game of screwing him, in some way or another. His wife's being nailed by his boss, his boss is a giant child, and there's one girl in the office who sees him as more than just a gigantic carpet in which to walk over, Rosemary Lewlie, played by the wonderful (and beautiful) Leslie Hope, who probably thought that being cast in a George A. Romero film would help her career.
Well so much for THAT.
When my ex and I watched this disaster of a film, we looked at each other in awe as to its awfulness. We fast-forwarded through most of it, and for die-hard film lovers out there who want to cry foul, let me tell you something--I managed to force myself to ingest BATMAN V SUPERMAN for the sake of film criticism, and at least I can say that Ben Affleck as Batman and Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor Jr. kept me at least AWAKE long enough to hate THAT waste of film.
There's nobody here to like, because there isn't enough pacing to MAKE me like them. I mentioned Leslie Hope before, because she IS beautiful, and can actually act (I suppose somebody should find her agent and burn him or her ALIVE for making her do this garbage) but she alone as a sympathetic co-star cannot hold this Wreck of the Hesperus together long enough for me to withstand it. Hell, even Peter Stormare (whom I desperately LOVE as an actor. No really! That last sequence he pulled off in CONSTANTINE impressed me to the point where I actually went to the trouble to learn his name and look up his accomplishments. And that's saying something) couldn't make me patiently watch this abomination.
Steer clear, fellow movie watchers. Salute Mr. Romero, for taking his holidays away from the brain-eaters, but remember that the gods put him here for a purpose--and that purpose is to serve us well-tasting zombie-fare, done by a master of the genre. Forever more, every other film-maker will always be pulling second, looking up to the great Romero for advice on how to explore the world of half-dead brain-eaters that we all love so much. Probably because they represent half of society.
And probably because we WISH we could blow all of their stupid @#$%&*& heads off in the process.