Potpourri of past bad horror hooks tossed into this fast food version. Proof:
1. Opening scenes of car on road & family in car. Always a sign of cheap to follow.
2. Usual disgruntled teen w/younger sibling to torment with put downs & tricks.
3. Usual family going to remote location for work or vacation. Work in this case, and location is semi-isolated.
4. Right off, the acting was so rote mechanical I thought I could see the director off to the side holding up cue cards - look this way, walk that way, say this short easily memorized line.
5. Usual townsfolk and mystery woman giving a heads-up warning about staying.
6. Then there is the camera angle view from foliage (as if a hidden someone or something) is whispering, and then, then - there's the wind & leaves.
7. Wind & leaves - wind suddenly gusting w/prolonged camera shots of blowing leaves, and music sound effects to tell us the obvious - something sinister is acomin'. Gawd!
8. You know this is a cheap prop/setting facade when the house they move into looks as organized & clean as a museum inside despite looking scary grungy outside.
9. Birds, what's a scary movie without birds flocking mysteriously every so often - too often in this case.
10. Usual image in a mirror; cracking eventually of course. And, mysterious opening windows.
11. Usual family disharmony over believing anything. Usual good lookin' guy w/tight t-shirt & suspenders for the teen girl to satisfy that viewership.
12. The final scenes CGI of the tree event was '70s level cheap. So cheap, I was actually laughing though the whole sequence. Once you get the beginning hang of this movie then ff to the end for the laughs - you'll miss nothing.
Review of The Watcher in the Woods
