It's hard to imagine a worse movie than Worriker: Turks & Caicos. It has replaced Mesa Of Lost Women (1953) (see my review) as the worst picture I have ever watched all the way to the bitter end. Admittedly I've been living a sheltered life by rarely ever watching a movie released after the early 1960's. While I have found most of the British and French televisions mysteries of the 'eighties and 'nineties very good, I wasn't prepared for how bad current movies can be.
Turks & Caicos is a two-hour exercise in boredom. Most of the running time is taken up by a gaggle of over-the-hill actors sitting around in a luxury hotel supposedly on a West Indies island just talking. Or better described as droning -- spilling out one long run of expository dialogue after another. Most of the time they face the camera rather than each other when talking. Perhaps this was to facilitate seeing the idiot cards they seemed to be reading their lines from. Millions of dollars and a number of moral issues are at stake in what they are droning on about, but no one ever shows any emotion. When they weren't babbling to each other, they were talking on the telephone. Is the modern generation so addicted to their cell phones they get a thrill just by watching someone in a movie using a phone? Praise God and pass the ranch dressing!
Bill Nighy is what passes as a leading man in this overpriced turkey. His leading lady Helena Bonham Carter was 47 at the filming date, but Nighy looks like her grandfather, poor old thing. He is supposed to appear the morally superior being in this silly overbaked, thrill-less political thriller because he looks sensitive-like around the eye wrinkles, and he buys lobsters for a little black kid. All tear ducts please squirt on cue!
The only reason I bought the Worriker miniseries with Turks & Caicos is that I once long ago spent a year and a month on Grand Turk Island and was hoping to see some familiar shots of the place. There were a couple of brief scenes of Nighy alone walking down a street that could have been at Grand Turk or elsewhere in the British West Indies. But mostly they just sat in chairs in the hotel that could have been anywhere, or on a beach that could have been anywhere. At least one beach scene had obvious back-projection suspiciously looking more like the English Chanel than West Indian waters..
Turks & Caicos Is poorly acted, prolix, humorless, and utterly boring. It lacks an intelligent story or even the slightest hint of dramatic engagement. Not a shred of wit can be dug out of the copious dialogue. This movie is a serious stinker. If you must watch a movie about a West Indies island, try King Of The Zombies (1941). It's not all that good either, but at least it is not pretentious like Turks & Caicos, and Mantan Moreland was at his worst a better actor than anyone in Turks and Caicos showed to be. Unless you derive a masochistic pleasure from being bored, avoid Turks & Caicos as you would swimming is shark-infested waters.
Turks & Caicos is a two-hour exercise in boredom. Most of the running time is taken up by a gaggle of over-the-hill actors sitting around in a luxury hotel supposedly on a West Indies island just talking. Or better described as droning -- spilling out one long run of expository dialogue after another. Most of the time they face the camera rather than each other when talking. Perhaps this was to facilitate seeing the idiot cards they seemed to be reading their lines from. Millions of dollars and a number of moral issues are at stake in what they are droning on about, but no one ever shows any emotion. When they weren't babbling to each other, they were talking on the telephone. Is the modern generation so addicted to their cell phones they get a thrill just by watching someone in a movie using a phone? Praise God and pass the ranch dressing!
Bill Nighy is what passes as a leading man in this overpriced turkey. His leading lady Helena Bonham Carter was 47 at the filming date, but Nighy looks like her grandfather, poor old thing. He is supposed to appear the morally superior being in this silly overbaked, thrill-less political thriller because he looks sensitive-like around the eye wrinkles, and he buys lobsters for a little black kid. All tear ducts please squirt on cue!
The only reason I bought the Worriker miniseries with Turks & Caicos is that I once long ago spent a year and a month on Grand Turk Island and was hoping to see some familiar shots of the place. There were a couple of brief scenes of Nighy alone walking down a street that could have been at Grand Turk or elsewhere in the British West Indies. But mostly they just sat in chairs in the hotel that could have been anywhere, or on a beach that could have been anywhere. At least one beach scene had obvious back-projection suspiciously looking more like the English Chanel than West Indian waters..
Turks & Caicos Is poorly acted, prolix, humorless, and utterly boring. It lacks an intelligent story or even the slightest hint of dramatic engagement. Not a shred of wit can be dug out of the copious dialogue. This movie is a serious stinker. If you must watch a movie about a West Indies island, try King Of The Zombies (1941). It's not all that good either, but at least it is not pretentious like Turks & Caicos, and Mantan Moreland was at his worst a better actor than anyone in Turks and Caicos showed to be. Unless you derive a masochistic pleasure from being bored, avoid Turks & Caicos as you would swimming is shark-infested waters.