Fuad Ramses (Robert Rusler) moves to Paris with his wife and daughter (Caroline Williams and Sophie Monk) where he has spent every last cent opening an American diner in the suburbs. To make ends meet, Fuad also works as a nightwatchman at a museum, where he encounters Egyptian goddess Ishtar, who promises him life eternal as her lover. But first he must serve up a special feast in her honour...
Herschel Gordon Lewis' influential splatter classic Blood Feast is undeniably amateurish and quite dull, but at least it's gory; Marcel Walz's 2016 version of the film is even more boring than the original and almost as inept, but doesn't even deliver on the blood and guts.
A full fifty minutes of dreary, badly scripted, poorly acted build up precedes the film's one and only genuinely gory moment, a juicy throat slashing, after which the film settles back into 'dry' mode. The remainder of the movie is uneventful and, despite its handful of recognisable 'stars', the whole thing lacks professionalism.
What this film needed was a better supporting cast (the European performers are terrible), a degree of intentional cheeze, a sense of fun, and, most importantly, lots of graphic gore so that it could at least live up to the title.
Worse than the original film, worse than Blood Feast 2: All U Can Eat (2002), much worse than Mardi Gras Massacre (1978), and even worse than Blood Diner (1987), about the only thing going for this mess is the suggestion that Ishtar is a figment of Fuad's imagination, the restaurateur having neglected to take his daily medication for an unspecified ailment - an interesting idea, but it's not enough to prevent me giving this garbage the lowest possible rating.
Herschel Gordon Lewis' influential splatter classic Blood Feast is undeniably amateurish and quite dull, but at least it's gory; Marcel Walz's 2016 version of the film is even more boring than the original and almost as inept, but doesn't even deliver on the blood and guts.
A full fifty minutes of dreary, badly scripted, poorly acted build up precedes the film's one and only genuinely gory moment, a juicy throat slashing, after which the film settles back into 'dry' mode. The remainder of the movie is uneventful and, despite its handful of recognisable 'stars', the whole thing lacks professionalism.
What this film needed was a better supporting cast (the European performers are terrible), a degree of intentional cheeze, a sense of fun, and, most importantly, lots of graphic gore so that it could at least live up to the title.
Worse than the original film, worse than Blood Feast 2: All U Can Eat (2002), much worse than Mardi Gras Massacre (1978), and even worse than Blood Diner (1987), about the only thing going for this mess is the suggestion that Ishtar is a figment of Fuad's imagination, the restaurateur having neglected to take his daily medication for an unspecified ailment - an interesting idea, but it's not enough to prevent me giving this garbage the lowest possible rating.