Not gonna lie: NEVER have I had such difficulty watching anything. The experience was emotionally devastating and actually physically painful. Never would I have dreamed I could see a film worse than Steel Magnolias, Beaches, Fried Green Tomatoes, and My Girl combined...and yet here I am, having just seen this one. I am not okay. I am utterly destroyed. My ginger excuse for a soul has been crushed, wrecked, shattered, pulverized (I wish I were exaggerating what a mess this made of me.)
The power to have this effect derives from the leading lady; Carice is truly a phenomenal actress. I've become a huge fan of hers. She makes you believe everything. She makes you feel EVERYTHING. Deeply. She can say SO MUCH without even speaking a word. She catapults this script, which is basically an automatic recipe for "heartbreaking," to absolutely heart-annihilating. She herself has a singular beauty as well as a natural aura of purity, innocence, and goodness that helps with parts such as this. (That there's still so much more tremendous talent within that teeny-tiny frame of hers--musically, for instance--could almost be infuriating were she not so lovable.) It also seemed extraordinarily unlikely that she'd have the "deep," difficult-to-access veins & arteries that the script said Carmen has (I mean, she's a veritable twig), but I guess the particular ones they needed were...*shrug* Seriously...Carmen's frequent vomiting had me feeling nauseous--NOT because I'm squeamish about that (I'm not; the needles are what normally bother me), but due to the empathy she engenders. Heck, the whole final third or so of the movie had me feeling that way (and, needless to say, just sobbing uncontrollably and pausing constantly to dry out.)
The premise is nearly unbelievable with this casting and writing, actually. If this Carmen is your wife, how on Earth does the desire to be with anyone else ever even enter into your head at all? If she falls gravely ill, how is your only thought not to be her constant loving support & caretaker as you fight the disease together with everything you've got? The main plotline here is harrowing enough; the secondary one that involves Stijn running back and forth from her to a club to another woman...it's incredibly maddening, and altogether it's murder. He never abandons her entirely, but you can't stop thinking furiously and desperately of how much better she and their daughter deserve. Even trying to look at it as "He can't handle the torment and needs to escape with someone who isn't sick," I cannot begin to justify his behavior--particularly since he was *always* a disgusting adulterer. From the very start, she should've had someone with the loyalty, integrity, fortitude, and pure love to stay by her side through thick and thin. He was simply unworthy of this extremely over-tolerant woman. That he always came back to her (for as long as he could) doesn't excuse his cheating. It merely makes him a somewhat better husband than he could've been. The whole thing hurts so much it's hard to think about. Would I watch this again? Oh man. More like, "Could I bear to?" Just thinking about it, or listening to the Kane song from it ("Love Over Healing") gets me going all over again. I get that hollow ache. So if I wanted to torture myself that way, I'd have to gather all my strength.
She tolerated his adultery...when she knew she'd soon be gone she told him she didn't want to know any more details, just for him to be happy with whatever woman he chose...he invited Rose to her funeral...she was an unimaginable angel (must've been an easy role for CvH in that respect), and the very definition of Deserved (Infinitely) Better. She deserves someone who loves her fully and would never once resent her, or act as if caring for her is a chore that she's lucky they're willing to do. It's understandable that a caretaker couldn't be at her side at absolutely every single moment, and that a spouse would need to escape occasionally-but never into the arms and bed of another. Rose turns out to be an equally despicable person, believing there's some validity to her affair and actually attempting to guilt Stijn for being apart from her, aware that he has a young daughter and a severely ill wife.
I feel a desperate need to rewrite this film to include a self-insert sort of role--that of poor Carmen's bff, who berates that dirtbag for his adulterous ways, kicks his cheating rear to the curb, and takes such excellent care of her that she survives. (Carmen may accept his behavior but she does not--especially while her friend is ill.) Just flood her with pure, unparalleled love and support. He was never worthy. Maybe he'll learn something from the experience and become a changed man; maybe not. The new character will be what Carmen deserved, bringing her to and from the hospital and staying with her and taking care of her and making sure *everything* possible is done to save her, as well as making sure Carmen knows how loved she is. (Of course it must end with remission and finding a faithful, totally committed man who knows how to love somebody and is worthy of her. ^^ Yay! There we go. Good stuff. I can feel my soul reconstituting as we speak.)
The power to have this effect derives from the leading lady; Carice is truly a phenomenal actress. I've become a huge fan of hers. She makes you believe everything. She makes you feel EVERYTHING. Deeply. She can say SO MUCH without even speaking a word. She catapults this script, which is basically an automatic recipe for "heartbreaking," to absolutely heart-annihilating. She herself has a singular beauty as well as a natural aura of purity, innocence, and goodness that helps with parts such as this. (That there's still so much more tremendous talent within that teeny-tiny frame of hers--musically, for instance--could almost be infuriating were she not so lovable.) It also seemed extraordinarily unlikely that she'd have the "deep," difficult-to-access veins & arteries that the script said Carmen has (I mean, she's a veritable twig), but I guess the particular ones they needed were...*shrug* Seriously...Carmen's frequent vomiting had me feeling nauseous--NOT because I'm squeamish about that (I'm not; the needles are what normally bother me), but due to the empathy she engenders. Heck, the whole final third or so of the movie had me feeling that way (and, needless to say, just sobbing uncontrollably and pausing constantly to dry out.)
The premise is nearly unbelievable with this casting and writing, actually. If this Carmen is your wife, how on Earth does the desire to be with anyone else ever even enter into your head at all? If she falls gravely ill, how is your only thought not to be her constant loving support & caretaker as you fight the disease together with everything you've got? The main plotline here is harrowing enough; the secondary one that involves Stijn running back and forth from her to a club to another woman...it's incredibly maddening, and altogether it's murder. He never abandons her entirely, but you can't stop thinking furiously and desperately of how much better she and their daughter deserve. Even trying to look at it as "He can't handle the torment and needs to escape with someone who isn't sick," I cannot begin to justify his behavior--particularly since he was *always* a disgusting adulterer. From the very start, she should've had someone with the loyalty, integrity, fortitude, and pure love to stay by her side through thick and thin. He was simply unworthy of this extremely over-tolerant woman. That he always came back to her (for as long as he could) doesn't excuse his cheating. It merely makes him a somewhat better husband than he could've been. The whole thing hurts so much it's hard to think about. Would I watch this again? Oh man. More like, "Could I bear to?" Just thinking about it, or listening to the Kane song from it ("Love Over Healing") gets me going all over again. I get that hollow ache. So if I wanted to torture myself that way, I'd have to gather all my strength.
She tolerated his adultery...when she knew she'd soon be gone she told him she didn't want to know any more details, just for him to be happy with whatever woman he chose...he invited Rose to her funeral...she was an unimaginable angel (must've been an easy role for CvH in that respect), and the very definition of Deserved (Infinitely) Better. She deserves someone who loves her fully and would never once resent her, or act as if caring for her is a chore that she's lucky they're willing to do. It's understandable that a caretaker couldn't be at her side at absolutely every single moment, and that a spouse would need to escape occasionally-but never into the arms and bed of another. Rose turns out to be an equally despicable person, believing there's some validity to her affair and actually attempting to guilt Stijn for being apart from her, aware that he has a young daughter and a severely ill wife.
I feel a desperate need to rewrite this film to include a self-insert sort of role--that of poor Carmen's bff, who berates that dirtbag for his adulterous ways, kicks his cheating rear to the curb, and takes such excellent care of her that she survives. (Carmen may accept his behavior but she does not--especially while her friend is ill.) Just flood her with pure, unparalleled love and support. He was never worthy. Maybe he'll learn something from the experience and become a changed man; maybe not. The new character will be what Carmen deserved, bringing her to and from the hospital and staying with her and taking care of her and making sure *everything* possible is done to save her, as well as making sure Carmen knows how loved she is. (Of course it must end with remission and finding a faithful, totally committed man who knows how to love somebody and is worthy of her. ^^ Yay! There we go. Good stuff. I can feel my soul reconstituting as we speak.)