Review of Secret Ceremony

. . . before "Blue Velvet" rips apart a fake pregnancy which has nothing to do with being afraid of Virginia Woolf. SECRET CEREMONY makes far less sense than the sentence above. This flick is set FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD, with some or all of its main characters sentenced to death for being too implausible to be brought to life. Who wants to hear "pot-head Bob" bragging about canoodling his step-daughter as if he's on an ACCE$$ H0LLYWOOD tape or something? Folks who eat up bulimia, incest, suicide, pedophilia, family affairs, pillaged estates, incoherence, child abuse, eating disorders, derangement, ham acting, sleazy creepiness, and the "Ick Factor" to get their jollies no doubt will love SECRET CEREMONY. However, those of us who are NOT perverts will question the sanity of the leads in this film. Certain career decisions can be seen as making "Pacts with Old Scratch." The latter individual has a notorious sense of perverse humor. Sometimes the "price" of such an ill-advised deal might be that your husband will dump you to marry your daughter. Other consequences might see you cursed to spend your declining "Walrus Years" hooked up with a notorious Real Life pedophile. That's why they say, "Be careful for what you bargain."