6/10
Endlessly amusing sword and sandal adventure
5 December 2016
Warning: Spoilers
This sequel to TAUR THE MIGHTY is such a hilariously cheesy movie with so much fun stuff going on in it that it's impossible not to like. Sure, the film was obviously made on the cheap and has dated badly what with its stereotypical (not to mention racist!) depiction of race - and women come to think of it - but for fans of cheese or camp then this film is a must see! Nowhere else would you find two male heroes (who live together in a cave) with such a close relationship which includes massaging each other and engaging in some fun fisticuffs. The homoerotic aspect is just one of the many enjoyable things that this movie has to offer.

The main thrust of the plot (as the re-titling would suggest) concerns a female tribe of Amazons who live in a quarry and enslave men in the local grottos (filmed in Yugoslavia). The evil Queen Nera takes delight in raiding local villages in the vicinity and enslaving the men, whilst training the captured women into becoming female gladiators. The women must then fight to the death on homemade platforms while the spectators watch. Now, the sight of watching sweaty women battle to the death might sound like a lot of fun (!) until you realise that firstly, the majority of them don't bother shaving their armpits (!), and secondly, the actresses involved clearly have no weapons skills whatsoever so their fighting attempts are pitiful (and poorly-edited to boot).

Now, lurking around in the background is Taur and his black friend Ubaratutu (although we surprisingly see little of them - whoever re-titled this film for UK release obviously had the right idea) who manage to get themselves captured and manage to escape again before inevitably creating an uprising. The incredibly cheesy and hilariously funny ending sees Taur engaging in a tug-of-war match with 101 women (!), and a flaming pit of fire waiting for him if he fails. Of course he wins out in the end, and there's a huge battle involving lots of writhing bodies before the evil Queen is inevitably speared to a wall, an event surprisingly common in these times (or at least as these films would have you believe).

The above description only skims the surface of the film really and there is a lot more to enjoy besides. Subplots include two gratuitously irritating children for no particular reason, although particularly grating is the fact that the obnoxious young blond-haired boy ends up becoming a king! There are lots of silly costumes and cheap sets to enjoy plus an almost endless display of naked flesh (mostly from the men here). The film has a surprisingly high death toll as we see the bodies piling up after the gladiator battles and numerous women get stabbed, speared, or shot in various mean-spirited ways. The film really does push the gruesome boundaries with repeated shots of a rotting hanged body and a scene of mild rack torture which results in the victim's death.

The film is packed with bad actors and actresses dubbed badly for extra amusement. The women are hopelessly unconvincing in their roles with the exception of the actress playing Queen Nera, who is pretty good at making evil eyes at people while sitting on her throne and stroking her white cat like a certain Blofeld. Harry Baird - a regular in British movies - plays Taur's black sidekick and is portrayed as an absolutely stupid, posing idiot who mainly acts as the film's unintentional comic relief. I guess that means this film isn't for those with strong politically correct values. Joe Robinson plays the Tarzan-like lead (I believe he was originally meant to be Tarzan before the Burroughs estate threatened to sue) and is as wooden as you can get for a strongman, but I couldn't help liking his good-naturedly dumb performance anyway. WOMEN GLADIATORS is an action-packed tale of fighting women and half-naked men engaging in unbelievable antics. It has never won any awards for realism or production values but then again it doesn't need to. As a pure example of the bad film at its best, WOMEN GLADIATORS offers endless amusement and a lot of fun from all the weird stuff going on in it. See to believe.
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