4/10
Lots of gore in this inept Italian dud
11 June 2016
Warning: Spoilers
The story goes that in 1974 Ovidio G. Assonitis released his Italian EXORCIST shocker BEYOND THE DOOR, starring Juliet Mills and Richard Johnson. In 1977 he successfully manages to rename Mario Bava's final horror film SHOCK to BEYOND THE DOOR II for its release Stateside. The same thing happened in the third and final film of this unofficial trilogy, with the US/Italian/Yugoslavian horror film DEATH TRAIN being released as BEYOND THE DOOR III in America. Unlike Bava's film, this does have a few references to the first in the series but is generally a stand-alone entry and boy, is it one hell of a film. A largely unwatchable mess that alternates between crazy special effects, graphic gore, and unrelenting tedium, resulting in one mind-altering combination that only the darned Italians could have dreamed up.

I'll make it plain: this is only worth watching for cheese value. As a horror film, it seems predictable and unrealistic, and as a thriller it's a bore. As for the plot synopsis, well, I know there are films with killer lawnmowers, cars, even a killer bulldozer, but a KILLER TRAIN? It's a big gamble that doesn't quite pay off. The general plot line goes that a bunch of overage teenagers (played by incredibly wooden, no-name actors and actresses who are simply terrible) go on a field trip to Yugoslavia and become involved with a devil cult.

DEATH TRAIN offers gratuitous nudity in a needless shower scene, a weird witch and a Satanic ritual, a woman being killed in a freak death a la THE OMEN when a steel girder hits her car and a boy being inexplicably burnt in his bunk by supernatural fire after he becomes paralysed. This is just the warm-up! Once the action shifts to the train, the film loses focus and lots of inexplicable events happen like the train getting cut in half, people getting possessed all the time for no reason and a weird flute-playing hermit sitting around. Wandering amongst the talentless cast is B-movie veteran Bo Svenson, dressed like Dracula and playing Satan; this wouldn't be his worst film appearance as he still had to make PRIMAL RAGE in the following year. Watch out for the oh-god-it's-incredibly-funny slow-motion interlude which plays to classical music and features an obvious miniature train crashing through a swamp. Later in the film the train derails and flies through the countryside, then always goes back on the tracks perfectly. How or why is anybody's guess.

The film has infrequent scenes of graphic gore which are surprisingly efficient for such a cheapo film. One man is burnt alive in the engine, another has his head torn off after being run over by the train. The conductor is impaled, a man suffers leech attack and a girl rips the skin right off her face in the film's goriest moment. Later, a severed head goes flying artistically in slow-motion (worth the admission price alone) and a cheesy dummy is cut in half by a flying chain and falls to pieces. Did I mention the impossible-to-achieve impaling between a teen and a stop barrier? The film eventually (and thankfully) culminates with a lame Satanic ritual which is so poorly done it makes you wonder why they bothered. But no, there's still more in a really bad CARRIE rip-off twist set aboard an aeroplane! DEATH TRAIN is a dud whichever way you look at it and can be of interest only to those who like their films talentless and derivative. I kind of got a kick out of it.
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