Review of Freshwater

I'm a sucker for a creature feature, but I just couldn't get through this one. Zoë Bell did her best. Most of the actors did, in fact. I've seen worse. Much worse. But you can't make a silk purse of a sow's ear. You just end up with a weird lookin' purse and a really angry pig.

Or something like that.

In any case, for me the two big problems were editing and visual effects. Obviously, in a creature feature, visual effects are your bread and butter. And, sadly, the bread and butter in this movie made for one laughable sandwich. I've seen smartphone apps that could superimpose digital effects more convincingly. Made me feel bad for the monster. Poor fella.

As for the editing, it was just a bit... wonky. People standing still for just a beat too long at the start of a scene, for example. Just makes things seem a bit unnatural. And the movie's editing woes gave some scenes a really odd sense of timing. For example, the scene where the lady's playing fetch with her dog, Fluffy. Oddly cut and oddly timed with weird shots of a dog standing alone in the weeds... If you haven't seen the movie and you're a kinda confused trying to picture what I just said in your head, that's pretty much what it feels like watching the scene, too.

I was really hoping I'd like this one, but I just couldn't. I'm sorry, Zoë.