Dirty Grandpa (2016)
1/10
De Niro - what were you thinking?
29 January 2016
Michael "Beyond the Poseidon Adventure" Caine has never been averse to starring in more than his fair share of turkeys. Talking about "Jaws: The Revenge" he once said "I have never seen it, but by all accounts it is terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built, and it is terrific!" One can only assume that Robert De Niro has a similar attitude for getting involved in this dross.

For that is what it is. Directed by Dan Mazar ("I Give It A Year"), its a desperate attempt at a Spring Break-style ribald comedy that misses at virtually every level.

De Niro plays Dick (an appropriate name) who after a lifetime of marriage and on the day after his wife's funeral asks his grandson Jason (Zac Efron) to join him on a road-trip to Florida, with the singular aim of getting laid by a fresher a quarter his age. (You can already tell that this is all in the best possible taste). Jason - an accountant - is due to be married in the following week to the prissy and controlling Meredith (Julianne Hough), against Dick's wishes. Needless to say with this paper-thin plot, (and given that America is obviously such a small place) he runs into an old (and naturally sexy and gorgeous) school friend Shadia (Zoey Deutch). With Dick applying a 'certain set of skills' from his previous work (hasn't this plot been worked before in a De Niro comedy?) he wreaks maximum havoc in Daytona Beach in trying to lead Jason astray. Will he succumb and find true love rather than fall into a marriage of boring expectation.

What's there to like in this film? Well, there is some almost amusing sexual banter between de Niro and the nympho-like Lenore (Aubrey Plaza, and probably the best thing in the film). The great Danny Glover has a short cameo. The music used is well chosen(although the music editing seems extraordinarily inept). And if you are female (or male but gay) then the extended scenes of Efron's almost naked body might do something for you.

But on the flip side, there are few groups that this film won't manage to offend. About 75% of the script is the F-word. It portrays extensive and casual hard-drug use. The film is offensive to gay people. Offensive to deaf people. Offensive to cancer patients. Offensive to black people. And deeply offensive to lovers of cinema.

I have used enough words on this trash. Those UK readers who are old enough to remember the older style of film classification will remember that there was an 'A' rating. I would bring it back for this film, the 'A' standing for "Avoid". In fact, it was so offensive, the rating should be 'AA' for "Absolutely Avoid".

I have a monthly cinema card, so I got to see this film for 'free'. I was significantly overcharged.

(Please visit bob-the-movie-man.com for the graphical version of this review. Thanks.)
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