Teenage Doll (1957)
1/10
Ranks among the rank.
7 November 2015
Warning: Spoilers
While there certainly are many bad films that I would count among the 10 worst of each year, and watching this film, I automatically assigned this to perhaps one of the worst of the decade. In fact, when it was over, I moved this from being one of the worst of the decade to perhaps one of the worst of all time. It is a film with no structure, hideously bad dialogue, a totally unbelievable plot and acting that looks like it came out of an instruction booklet after somebody poured out their alphabet soup. It is a story of a supposedly nice girl who gets involved with a gang of teenage thugs and ends a murderess. It is all about how the gang seeks revenge on her, yet hides from the police and the ultimate showdown between the law, her parents and this group of thugs that look about as teenaged as members of a senior citizens social group.

Then, what is with the hair style of the actress, Dorothy Neumann, playing the heroine's mother? It looks like something that Pippi Longstocking might have gotten out of a don't let this happen to you magazine, as if this was perhaps one of the original ideas of what Baby Jane Hudson might look like. The dialogue is so hideous that it isn't even laughable. I didn't laugh at the film even once. Characters have little to no motivation in anything they do, the plot jumps all over the place and ultimately this seems like something that was just rushed together so quickly that ultimately it doesn't even look like the same film if you manage to make it all the way through.

There is a sincere effort to make this a message film with an intelligence prologue at the very beginning where words flashing across the screen indicates that this is a film of it's time, of a subject that should be taken seriously and how it is not just one person's problem, but many people's problem. I will also give the film credit for having one of the best credit sequences I've ever seen but good credit and good intentions in a prologue do not make for a good movie. The plot and the structure have to flow together, the acting has to seem somewhat professional and the characters have to make you at least care about what happens to them. It is as if this teenage doll takes a place on some parallel universe, because as horrible as juvenile delinquency and teenage issues were in the 1950s I can't imagine it ever being anything like this. This is one of those movies that I would rank even below my one that I gave it if I had that option.
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