Review of Paintball

Paintball (2009)
2/10
This is a great example of how not to write horror films
10 October 2015
I really don't care for modern horror films that much. Many of them just seem so terrible that I usually don't bother with them. "Paintball" is yet another example of unoriginal and cliché horror. "Paintball" is another great example of not just a bad horror movie, but also a bad action movie.

8 people are dropped into the wilderness to compete in a paintball tournament. However, they come to realize that the game is more deadly than they thought as they find out that the enemies are using actual guns instead of paintball guns to hunt and kill them.

Firstly, my biggest problem with this movie is how badly written the characters are. There is literally no depth at all to any of them. I didn't care at all when they died off. In this case, however, I was actually looking forward for the characters to die because the movie was so bad, I was eager for it to end. Character development matters. Take these 3 words and tweet it to everyone who has ever thought of directing a horror movie.

Also, most of the characters are idiots. When one of them was being shot at, he ran right out into the middle of combat making him completely vulnerable just to get himself shot and killed. Also, some of the characters behave in ways no one would behave in in real life. When one of them was in trouble, instead of helping him, his friend just took his bulletproof vest and left him to die when he had more than enough time to save him. At one point in the movie, one of the other characters pushed someone into a trap causing her to die for no apparent reason whatsoever. There is no reason for him to do what he did. The movie tried to have him go insane but that was a very unrealistic and lazy way to kill off one of the characters. Also, one of the characters lost his mind and ran away from the group leaving himself vulnerable and he got himself killed because of his action. That was another unrealistic and lazy way to kill off a character. Also, when one of the characters picked up a machete and turned around, she stabbed one of her friends, killing her. That was yet another lazy and stupid way to kill off a character. Because of this, I was easily able to predict when each character was going to die because of their stupidity and how predictable the movie is. In short, this movie has some of the most idiotic and deficient movie characters ever put to screen.

As for the action, it's just typical gunfights and not much more. There was nothing impressive in any of them and despite a long take near the beginning, nothing else stood out whatsoever. What I really hated about them was the shaky camera. I have no idea why so many people still do this. Moviegoers hate it when movies have this. It distracts us from the movie and it gives me a headache. It is also bad cinematography in my opinion.

Like most low-budget, modern horror movies, the acting is garbage. The reason this is so common is because many good actors know better than to star in modern horror movies because they know that they will ruin their careers by doing so. Many horror movie directors are well aware of this so they hire those actors who are very untalented and take any role to get a paycheck. They hope that they will be successful enough to hire great actors. However, the movies they make are so bad that they usually sell poorly so their careers usually don't last very long. None of the actors in this movie are impressive at all and I felt that none of them gave a good performance.

Also, the ending left me more than underwhelmed. I was hoping for an explanation for what went on in the movie and I didn't get much of one. It barely contained any exposition and I was more confused in the end then I was in the beginning. Its ending is much too thin. The movie doesn't provide enough clues in order for me to be able to speculate a theory about what I think the origin of the area they were in is.

The only reason this doesn't get a 1/10 is that the premise is actually pretty good and creative for once. The movie shows some promise in the opening 10 minutes and it actually has an original concept. Also, it actually has a pretty decent long take. Unfortunately, the movie ruins any minimal hopes I had for it after 15 minutes.

In conclusion, if you don't mind the style over substance, idiotic characters, and unoriginal and poorly-executed action sequences and if you just like watching senseless gun-battles then this movie is for you. However, if you don't like that then you're likely going to find this to be yet another worthless horror movie which is completely inferior to dozens of other classic action, war, and horror movies out there which are actually well made. My tip is to avoid this at all costs.
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