The Visit (I) (2015)
1/10
Unfathomably Terrible
13 September 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Walking into the over crowded theater to see yet another over hyped M. Night Shyamalan movie, I already missed the money I had spent on the 90 minute torture. Let's face it, Shymalan has not made a fantastic movie in over a decade and this movie does not show any signs of him getting any better.

We all know as soon as we turn on a Shymalan movie that there is going to be a plot twist that is so obscure that we would never have thought of it, but the Visit fails to deliver this mind blowing twist. The idea that the 'grandparents' were mental patients who had escaped seemed pretty self explanatory from the start. Not only is the twist a complete failure but the movie delivers no real scare. There are a few cheap jump scares throughout, but no suspense or build up.

The children in the movie are seldom frightened by the bizarre behavior of their 'grandparents', but they do make a lot of jokes about them and are very sarcastic about everything that happens. This strongly takes away from the horror factor. Think about it. You're stuck in a place with 2 elderly people you have never met who are very strange and at one point you even record one of them knocking on your door with a knife. Witty banter is the last thing on your mind.

Finally the very last issue with this movie comes from one of the last scenes in which the 'grandfather' shoves dirty diaper in the young boys face and in retaliation, the boy kills the old man all the while yelling like the hype man at an 8 mile rap battle. No not like he's yelling because he's a minor killing someone who just shoved crap in his face, but literally like Eminem's on stage hype guy. As if that wasn't enough to defeat the end of this movie, after a touching scene with their mother, the movie cuts to the young boy in his sisters room rapping about his visit. If a kid had crap shoved in his mouth he wouldn't be writing a rap about it. If a kid had to kill someone to go home he wouldn't be rapping about it. He would be talking to a therapist and not acting as if nothing had ever happened.

In conclusion, this movie was unrealistic, the emotions of the kids were very unnatural, the plot twist was barely a twist, and I would never see this movie again if I was paid to.
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