The movie very boringly details the love between Dan and Amy and the fact that Dan is a werewolf with a demented father. Dan is a werewolf in a really bad, wolfman inspired costume. Dan's dad is evil. He kills women constantly just for fun. Dan's dad is coming after him and killing people along the way. Dan has to protect his girlfriend, blah blah blah. Meanwhile, livestock is being killed, by Dan, and the sheriff, aka Maria Conchita Alonzo, who can barely speak any of her lines clearly, bumbles around like an idiot. Even after discovering the existence of werewolves and having Bender sexually assault her in a parking lot, she just lays there with her gun in her hand looking shocked. Bender walks away very slowly, stands and poses, taunts her and, instead of ending the whole thing by putting a well deserved bullet through his head, she just stares, wide eyed, after making sure the safety is on so the gun won't misfire. Amy's dad is angry at the world, constantly trying to fight with everyone, knocking his daughter around, threatening Dan multiple times with his fists and a gun, just out of control aggressive, except towards Bender. In the 'final showdown', which was slow and boring as heck, everyone has a clear shot at Bender, who stands and poses yet again in front of a group of people with guns, and they all just stand there until he finally jumps down behind cover, after five minutes of standing there making idle threats. Then, instead of remaining in a group, everyone splits up, going in a different direction than the one the bad guy went. The folks take some shots at him, firing a ridiculous amount of ammo without reloading a single time. Amy keeps running in circles, literally, in circles, always coming right back to where a protector just told her to run away from. She is constantly popping up in front of Bender, like she's drunk and can't figure out how to run in a straight line. The ending was dumb. Dan walks away, after dropping his shirt because, hey, who needs a shirt when you're walking off into the desert for whatever odd reason. He leaves Amy his car, which she gets out of looking like a female Dan, in a black wifebeater, jeans and a thick black belt with a big buckle. She puts flowers on the road and smiles when she hears a wolf howl. I thought maybe the movie would pick up and show some action sometime in the two hour running time, however, it just kept dragging from one boring, yawn inducing scene to the next, paying way too much attention to the amy's dad's paranoid ramblings and rantings and starlit dates with the sheriff. Then there's be ten seconds of action. Dan's dad kills someone after there's a gratuitous showing of breasts. Then another long twenty minutes of Dan and Amy vowing their love for one another. More ramblings from Amy's dad. More incoherent lines from the sheriff while she drinks tequila on the job and then drives around. Dan's dad kills some hooks after another gratuitous breasts shot. More rambling. A new character pops in and rambles on for ten minutes about his history with Bender, who he discovered was a serial killer. More rambling. Dan turns into a werewolf. Rambling, love, paranoid dad, Bender kills someone, a fortune teller gives Dan some info, love love, rambling, don't shoot the werewolf that's right in front of you, aren't the stars pretty, oh look, a werewolf, let's not shoot him and discuss being paranoid instead. oh, and don't shoot the werewolf, we're going to milk this run time!! The movies was longer and more rambling than this review, which is saying something.
Review of Dark Moon Rising
