Two if by Sea (1996): Dir: Bill Bennett / Cast: Denis Leary, Sandra Bullock, Stephen Dillane, Yaphet Kotto, Mike Starr: One of the lamest titles in recent memory as if the writer thought it poetic that Denis Leary and Sandra Bullock break up if they did not live by a frigging beach. They play thieves who are delivering a rare expensive painting to their boss. After losing police they shack up in a deserted house. Bullock begins to question her lifestyle and is charmed by another man. Leary does everything to prove his loyalty. Director Bill Bennett does a stylish job but the screenplay would make better toilet paper. Leary makes an attempt to learn other skills that don't involve cheating, stealing and robbing but he soon must stand up for his relationship. Bullock wants out of the unlawful lifestyle yet is easily charmed by deceptive males. We hardly care about this. The ending is hardly believable and makes one wonder what was learned. Supporting roles are lousy and include Stephane Dillane as the stranger trying to court Bullock while having other plans in mind. Unfortunately those plans didn't involve kidnapping her and escorting themselves to the set of a superior film. The role is standard and predictable, and Yaphet Kotto is wasted. It is yet another boring romantic comedy retread with no real purpose other than to reflect that Bullock has done better. It is pointless fluff that should be buried at sea. Score: 2 / 10
Review of Two If by Sea
