Albert Nobbs (2011)
2/10
Seriously?
7 March 2015
Warning: Spoilers
First, I watched this on Netflix and their description was not accurate: "A woman disguised as a man and working in a posh 19th century hotel reconsiders her charade when a handsome painter arrives on the scene." So I'm thinking funny love story with some tense drama and a happy ending. I did not laugh, smile, frown or feel any emotion at all while watching this. I cry over roadkill so if a movie can't evoke an emotional response from me, even when a sympathetic main character dies, there is a problem. This movie was as flat as Glenn Close's over injected face.

I kept waiting for this movie to make some kind of sense. When Albert was telling Hubert her story, I figured it out. This film is not for entertainment, it is a sermon. As a movie watcher and societal participant, I am sick to death of being nudged into this "men are responsible for all of the evils in the world" view, which over the past half century, seems to have infiltrated our society.

Almost every single male character in this production (even those not on screen) is a physically abusive, alcoholic womanizer. Was there not one man on Earth in the 19th century that wasn't a substance abusing, psychotic rapist? Even the good doctor couldn't keep his face out of the bottle and his hands off the poor maid. Hollywood, if you're listening, I think we've covered this. Let's move on please unless of course your goal is to create a whole generation of self loathing men who feel guilty about being alive.

Perhaps I could have tolerated the obvious man hating if the story made sense and didn't leave me worrying about the welfare of Mia Wasikowska's character. Creepy isn't a creepy enough word to describe the ending.

Here's a more accurate description. If anyone working at Netflix is reading this, feel free to use it. "An abused woman disguised as a man working in a posh 19th century hotel meets another abused woman disguised as a man who is married to a woman, decides to get married herself by deceiving another abused but much younger pregnant woman into marriage in order to staff a fictional tobacco shop."
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