Review of CSI: Cyber

CSI: Cyber (2015–2016)
4/10
To be canceled
5 March 2015
Warning: Spoilers
I actually looked forward to this series, despite the fact that Arquette is its spearhead. I have never been a fan of hers, but it still could have worked.

It does not. The problem is that this show relays too much on the formula. Widely recognized TV series spin-off? Check! Even more niche specific than the original (see law&order SVU)? Check! Is half the cast made out of already established and recognizable actors? Check! This is the formula, this is not the first show that uses it, and to some degree it works decent enough. So why is it failing here? Because the script is non existent. They did not even try to make it somewhat lifelike. It is 1 degrees of separation from a script used in porn. The show starts early on with an "argument" over jurisdiction of a kidnapping case. The argument is that since electronics were used during the kidnapping it would be a cyber crime and it should be reassigned to the cyber unit from the detectives already assigned to the case. This argument is accepted without 2 second of protest. First things first. Kidnapping in the US is a federal crime and it is handled by the FBI by default, not by some detectives. Even I know that and I am from Europe. Never lived in the states, by the way. Number two, considering the extensive level of use of electronics in the day to day life, at least 80% of crime would fall under the provided cyber crime definition. Now a lot of you will come back at me that it was meant to be malicious use of electronics, but that was not proved until way after the argument over jurisdiction was made. And number 3, that argument went way to easy, as it was there just because it had to be there.

Look, I am not even going to bother with all the other sink holes with this show. The writing is lazy, the dialog is terrible, it is a waste of time all around. It should be canceled based on the pilot alone. Unfortunately, I think it will even see a second season.
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