An expedition of childish, immature young idiots – sorry, serious scientists – retrace the steps of a failed 1959 Russian expedition in some remote Siberian region (or wherever). They goof off, they make dumb B-movie jokes, they have sex, and they engage in childish pranks – and then predictably don't trust each other when things go awry (coz they think pranks are still being played). It's the usual nonsense when it comes to the modern teens-go-a-demon-hunting genre. OK, they're not teens, they're in their early 20s, but they might as well be pre-schoolers, the way they talk and behave; I half-expected them to dig out boogers and wipe them on each other's backs and then go all tee-hee-hee. It seems to me the film-makers wanted us to hate them so much that when they get slaughtered one-by-one we can enjoy their demise, i.e. the usual cliché shtick.
The blond who does most of the filming (yes, this is a camcorder horror flick; you have been warned) does and says many stupid things during the course of her short career as a Russian-region B-movie explorer. High on the list of her bizarre stupidities is to convince her Pattinson-lookalike companion that they should not tell the other three about the mysterious mountain door/passage they'd stumbled upon. "They're too scared right now, so it's best we tell them about it next morning," she says, and the moronic Pattinson fella actually nods in agreement. Well, she could have fooled me! The three in question were so "scared" that night that two of them had sex, while the other one joked around all the time.
Which brings me to the incredibly stupid sex-scene itself. (The one that lead to the avalanche, in the sense that sex is punishable by immediate death in these movies; one of the oldest and stupidest horror-film clichés of them all.) We are lead to believe that the five retards are camping in a remote, freezing-cold region of snow-covered Russia. Right? Yes. So how is it then that two of them – the love-birds – take ALL of their clothes off in their tents (definition of TENT: a s***hole type of shelter that lacks central heating or any other kind of meaningful heat source)? Dumber yet, neither of them have vapour coming out of their mouths, which is yet another blatant give-away that the two sex-birds had in fact been shagging in a cozy, warm American B-movie film studio, NOT in the Russian steppes.
MAJOR SPOILER
The movie does have one redeeming feature though: its excellent end-twist. First we find out that Pattinson and blondie end up becoming 1959 victims no. 10 and no. 11, after passing through the time portal. Secondly, and even better, it turns out that it was them all along who were the two monsters they'd been battling in the laboratory. The idea that the portal turned them into monsters from the past – who then fought their own future (i.e. past) selves – is an interesting one. Furthermore, the implication that both of them had monster doubles/clones/twins all of their lives – without being aware of it – is an even nuttier idea. The fact that these monsters were old enough to be their grandparents (in a sense) is even weirder. In other words, the implications of this plot-twist are truly fascinating, and that's where the movie-makers need to be congratulated on. It's just a pity that the lead-up to the excellent conclusion wasn't exceptional, not to say downright mediocre. Camcorder movies are generally quite annoying, and I don't think I even need to explain why.
The blond who does most of the filming (yes, this is a camcorder horror flick; you have been warned) does and says many stupid things during the course of her short career as a Russian-region B-movie explorer. High on the list of her bizarre stupidities is to convince her Pattinson-lookalike companion that they should not tell the other three about the mysterious mountain door/passage they'd stumbled upon. "They're too scared right now, so it's best we tell them about it next morning," she says, and the moronic Pattinson fella actually nods in agreement. Well, she could have fooled me! The three in question were so "scared" that night that two of them had sex, while the other one joked around all the time.
Which brings me to the incredibly stupid sex-scene itself. (The one that lead to the avalanche, in the sense that sex is punishable by immediate death in these movies; one of the oldest and stupidest horror-film clichés of them all.) We are lead to believe that the five retards are camping in a remote, freezing-cold region of snow-covered Russia. Right? Yes. So how is it then that two of them – the love-birds – take ALL of their clothes off in their tents (definition of TENT: a s***hole type of shelter that lacks central heating or any other kind of meaningful heat source)? Dumber yet, neither of them have vapour coming out of their mouths, which is yet another blatant give-away that the two sex-birds had in fact been shagging in a cozy, warm American B-movie film studio, NOT in the Russian steppes.
MAJOR SPOILER
The movie does have one redeeming feature though: its excellent end-twist. First we find out that Pattinson and blondie end up becoming 1959 victims no. 10 and no. 11, after passing through the time portal. Secondly, and even better, it turns out that it was them all along who were the two monsters they'd been battling in the laboratory. The idea that the portal turned them into monsters from the past – who then fought their own future (i.e. past) selves – is an interesting one. Furthermore, the implication that both of them had monster doubles/clones/twins all of their lives – without being aware of it – is an even nuttier idea. The fact that these monsters were old enough to be their grandparents (in a sense) is even weirder. In other words, the implications of this plot-twist are truly fascinating, and that's where the movie-makers need to be congratulated on. It's just a pity that the lead-up to the excellent conclusion wasn't exceptional, not to say downright mediocre. Camcorder movies are generally quite annoying, and I don't think I even need to explain why.