3/10
Simon Wells rides Grandad's machine into a parallel dimension
30 December 2014
Warning: Spoilers
I tried to watch this film with an open mind. After all, it's not an easy task to turn a short novella into a full feature length film. And, given that this and all of H.G. Wells' stories are told by first-person narration, it would take some careful adaptation to preserve the tone of the book, much of which takes place in the narrator's own head as he attempts to rationalise the world he has been thrust into, as any pragmatic man of science would. If that sounds dull to you, worry not, because this is not a careful adaptation, it's Hollywood. To their credit, they didn't cast Brendan Fraser as the time traveller, but when you see the way they hacked up the script, they might as well have.

Spoiler time, so only read on if you've seen it - or don't plan to, which is a fine idea, since this film is now 12 years old and the intervening years have spawned a number of other bombs on which you could waste an hour and a half of your life.

I'll begin at the beginning, which is the first thing they ruined. The beginning of H.G. Wells' novel is full of charm and mystery that sets the scene. Time's been kind to this story, unlike some of Wells' work, and there was an opportunity to tell a really good tale here whilst still being trendy and engaging...perhaps even a little steam-punk. The dinner party, the educated sceptics, the presentation of the machine - have been omitted entirely. Replacing it is a done-to-death tale of lost love, which is presented as the reason for the time traveller's invention, because apparently science needs a feminine muse and invention for invention's sake is not enough.

Speaking of love, if you were hoping to see how the nuanced, innocent, paternalistic and vaguely uncomfortable relationship between the time traveller and Weena was handled, this simply isn't there either. The Eloi aren't as you might remember them, and the female lead is far from naive and child-like - she's a teacher. You don't need to be a linguist to want to start pounding your head against the screen when she begins speaking perfect English after a mere 800,000 years.

It doesn't get any better after that. Cue heavy use of CGI and scary creatures that might as well be LOTR orcs (yawn), another bad dude and a big and poorly explained explosion. Big dumb happy ending, none of the reflective scenes from the end of the book. The addition of the holographic librarian is welcome and adds a sense of continuity and comic relief that this film so desperately needs.

If you're not a reader, you may get something out of this film. There are worse in its genre. To understand why I'm SO disappointed, you really have to be familiar with Wells' work. He was a thinker, a visionary, a man of big ideas. His work is philosophical, but Wells takes the role of the observer as he postulates his ideas - he doesn't pause to moralise. This film does the opposite - no room for free thought is left with the viewer; the protagonist rushes in in shining armour so that you may go home comfortable.

I had high hopes for this film, given that the great grandson of the book's author was involved in directing it. I'm left wondering if he's even read the original text. Oh, Simon, in a few short generations you have become an entirely different creature from your grandfather. How positively ELOI of you! You could say Wells foresaw this, in his lesser known work "A Story of the Days to Come".
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