Review of Snowpiercer

Snowpiercer (2013)
4/10
Fails at every level
26 December 2014
This movie will separate out the people who truly appreciate what kind of transcendence a really well crafted movie can create and convey to its audience, and the pretentious narcissistic film-goer who likes their fairy tales to be just obtuse enough to make them appear to be relevant morality tales.

Take a look through the reviews of this movie and you will see just how many viewers have been fooled into thinking this movie has something to say. All it does is pander to an audience that wants its dystopian action movies to have enough of a message that it alleviates the guilt of watching a mindless action movie, an affliction that I sadly do not suffer from. Naturally, the "message" has so many divergent ideas that everyone who thinks they've figure it out finds themselves to be correct, much like getting all the right letters in the newspaper Jumble puzzle to spell out the funny answer. Raise your hand if you think this movie agrees with your political beliefs.

It's a mess, all over the place without a cohesive idea that brings it together. I give credit to the Asian actors, and a few of the "Tail Section" actors for doing what they can with a preposterous script in this thinly veiled political pander job to just about everyone. OK, there are plot holes and things that don't make sense, but not everything has to stick to make the whole movie hang together. Lots of movies have these features and aren't sunk by them. But you lose me with such blatant disregard for them. A few minor ideas are explained in great detail, but the key ones are just lost. Don't get me started on the dystopian concept as a whole.

But perhaps most unforgivably, the action sequences are weak. For being in a closed-room story, for being on a freaking train that can't stop or it will die, the action sequences are remarkably muted. They aren't intense enough to be exciting, they're not spectacular enough to be impressive, and they're not clever enough to be interesting. I apologize for writing so much about this movie that I didn't like, but I went into it thinking it was a good idea, and wanted to see what could be done with it. I like closed-room movies like this one, and I really wanted this to be good, but it let me down at every point.
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