Blue Lagoon: The Awakening (2012 TV Movie)
4/10
More Like Blue Lagoon: The Long Sleep...
23 November 2014
Warning: Spoilers
When updating an 80's 'guilty pleasure' (not one of mine, though) about a couple of teens stranded on a desert island, and finding love and contentment there, you have a few quandaries to work around. Namely: With modern technology, and the world pretty much fully mapped... How on Earth could anyone overlook them? This question isn't quite answered satisfactory (One of them has a working cellphone they could easily be tracked on) but, meh... I'm willing to suspend disbelief if you are.

So, here we have a 'popular girl' and a 'social outcast' shacking up together on this far-off isle after a random series of events not worth going into. They hunt fish for food, eat plenty of bananas, build their own shelter, have baths in a photogenic waterfall and screw like rabbits( WHY does she never get pregnant?). Oh, and the bloke kills a jaguar. Woo hoo. The scenery is just as attractive as his abs and her bikini body... But alas, that talent does not extend to their skills as thespians. Never mind... there's always the cover of Vogue to look forward to.

Meanwhile, back at home, their friends and family fret... As the search is downgraded to a hunt for their corpses, before being stopped altogether. They never stop hoping though... Including Denise Richards as the mother of the female castaway. Whatever happened to Denise? Once a Bond Girl, now reduced to playing second fiddle to a couple of wannabe models. I guess as your good looks fade, so do all the good roles. Hollywood, sexist? OF COURSE NOT!! Take a good look at her, Indiana Evans. That'll be YOU in 20 years.

They get back to the mainland of course, having learnt VALUABLE LESSONS. She's realised there's more to life than parties and the in-crowd... A moment which symbolized by her throwing out all her old gaudy outfits. He finds the courage to reconnect with his estranged father , and they even share a couple of not-at-all forced hugs! Aw. Such character development! Later, he takes her to the prom in the pouring rain. "We've seen far worse than this"! He remarks, as some indie douche warbles away in the background.

Well, so have I... But I'd hardly call that a recommendation... 4/10
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