A mercy "7", as this should be a great movie with such a great cast, but it isn't. It plays like "Robin and the 7 Hoods" meet "Cat Ballou". (Both are better movies.) Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra virtually play themselves, as their acting is atrocious. Both rob the same stagecoach. Dean takes the money back to his old orphanage, to give to "Mom". They become rivals and "friendly" enemies, as Frank spends most of the movie trying to get his loot back. (Like Johnny Depp, Dean Martin does the entire movie with a "drunk" accent, but probably isn't!) Victor Buono runs both the town and bank, both crooked. (Victor is a consummate performer, and always fun to watch, even in this lack-luster film.) He hires Charles Bronson to clean up the town. Somehow, Bronson "dies" twice in the movie, the second time at the very end. Dean builds a riverboat casino with the help of his "gang" and buxom beauties Anita Ekburg and Ursula Andress. Ursula looks stunning but Anita, sadly, looks old and fat. Many one minute cameos, including Jack Elam, Arthur Godfrey, and one of the Gabor Sisters. (Eva or Zsa Zsa) The 3 Stooges stop by, for 2 minutes, to deliver a great nude portrait of Anita, which is seen for less than 10 seconds, and is probably cut from most versions. Other cameos include Fritz Feld, who always played a waiter, in all his films. (He's in "Hello Dolly"!) The movie rambles on and on, for two hours, being alternately funny and violent. Frank and Dean have a fist fight at the end, and everybody soon forgets their differences. The ending looks quickly "tacked on" as Bronson falls into the riverboat's paddlewheel and supposedly dies a painful death. How is that funny? Watch "Cat Ballou" or "McClintock" instead. Both are far superior to this "comic" western. I have seen this film before, edited to 100 minutes, and it was actually better!
Review of 4 for Texas
