Review of Syrup

Syrup (I) (2013)
4/10
Trying to Be Clever But Falls On It's Face
11 March 2014
Warning: Spoilers
To be honest, when I saw the trailer this film did not look good but I was curious if it had anything of interest to say...but doubtful. Being that it's free on Netflix, no loss other than time for watching it. Right away, I really got the sense that someone wrote what they thought would be an interesting script based on what they learned in their Marketing 101 from college, and then picked a rather mundane subject like an energy drink. First of all, the film is fairly ridiculous and unbelievable, which is why you get the sense that this person barely survived Marketing 101, then switched majors, and thus it seems the writer has little sense of the marketing world, other than it's cut throat, which, who doesn't know that? The main character is completely unlikeable which really makes it hard to follow him. He's kind of like this small, elven schmarmy guy who wants to get rich without much work, and is really into some hot seemingly unobtainable girl. Other than that the main character has no other character development, and is mostly annoying and unlikeable. His roommate somehow manages to steal his idea and take over a huge corporation in a matter of months (that's right, months) but doesn't speak, which just adds to the complete unbelievability of this film, as do many things.

The main elf first tries to break into the Addy beverage company to try and sell his idea. When he's thrown out he pulls the fire alarm. Moments later everyone comes out drenched? When does pulling a fire alarm result in sprinklers going off? You begin to wonder if this was just a weak ploy to get Amber Heard wet. The elf then tries to pitch to her on the street, and she brushes him off as if this is a daily occurrence? I wasn't aware that New York beverage companies were a hot spot for espionage and skullduggery but dually noted. Elf gets screwed over by his buddy who even though he was selling his man juice for rent money, and getting stoned all the time (and doesn't speak), manages steal the elf's idea and take over the Addy beverage company. Amber Heard then lets elf talk himself into sleeping on her couch until he comes up with an idea to get back at his nemesis (that seems super likely). After an angry fit, elf drops beverage machine on himself and comes up with a brilliant commercial which is two young guys shaking a machine and it falls on one of them. I know, you're asking yourself how this would ever get approved and allowed to be put on the air. The Addy company isn't worried about lawsuits? Of course, some kid pulls the machine on himself and dies. Then the only people at the funeral are the kid's parents...and people from the Addy company. I mean, we're just snowballing into stupid and unbelievable at this point. And rather than the Addy company getting sued, the only result is the elf feels ready bad and decides to get up during the funeral and make an even more unrealistic and stupid speech about how marketing has power and they abused it, and that's wrong. At that point I had to just shut it off before it snowballed any further.

Really, no redeeming qualities in this film other than a Kirstie Alley scene, and pretty much pointless. It really made me wonder how people actually get money to make these low-budget films. Obviously, a wealthy relative 'cause I can't imagine who else would invest money into this trite schlock.
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