Anna Nicole (2013 TV Movie)
5/10
Gentlemen Prefer Boobs
29 October 2013
Pretty pre-teen Vicky Lynn is visited by her future self, in her mirror; she's bosomy blonde Agnes Bruckner (as Anna Nicole Smith). The tyke idolizes Marilyn Monroe while her parents holler, fight and drink. This apple will not fall far from the tree. When she becomes a teenager, our heroine stuffs her bra and becomes pregnant. After acquiring extra large breast implants, Ms. Smith is an exotic pole-dancing sensation. She poses for Playboy, meets wealthy octogenarian Martin Landau (as J. Howard Marshall) and soaks up whatever drugs are available. Alas, tragedy waits...

Anna Nicole Smith was a celebrity due to her looks and lifestyle. The comparison to Marilyn Monroe falls flat because Ms. Monroe was skilled at a craft we can (still) see and admire (although her own drug problems eventually hindered her work). Ms. Smith was not able to develop much of an artistic skill, though she may have had the potential. Smith's wretched TV program "The Anna Nicole Show" (2002–2004) featured the overweight star in obvious stages of alcoholism and drug abuse. This biographic TV movie covers that travesty, along with Smith's tabloid headlines...

Looking much like his counterpart, Adam Goldberg (as Howard K. Stern) plays the sleazy lawyer lover. Grown-up Graham Patrick Martin (as Danny) finds his own way out of mama's mess. Mary Harron orchestrates them well. Everyone here does a good job conveying the excess and incredible sadness in watching Smith waste her life away. Even worse is the heartbreaking story of her neglected son. However, there is nothing special about this celebrity's life. That could have been the point, but it isn't; instead, the subject is herein cheapened by false elevation and evaluation.

Anna Nicole (6/29/13) Mary Harron ~ Agnes Bruckner, Martin Landau, Adam Goldberg, Graham Patrick Martin
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