The Moderns (1988)
1/10
Comatose witless bore
4 August 2013
If Paris was this dull no one would have remembered it. This is a long sophomore love letter to a time when 'artists' (it's important to use inverted commas to show that artists are not real people but vaunted beings) were friends and foes and life was full of artistic dilemmas.

What do they say to each other? They talk in idiotic paradoxes because a paradox is a great way to reveal a truth in the opposite of what it states; they compose pretentious aphorisms on everything: don't confuse love and lust as the one is...it's meant to be the way artists talk - ever so profound and not mundane despite being short of money but sure of their future posterity.

It's rubbish writing dressed up in an introductory college course on modernism in the 1920s.

Americans went to Paris after world war one because the franc crashed and their dollars were worth a lot more; secondly, they liked the libertarian life of Paris compared to tight-lipped USA. Hemingway and Stein never learned French - they lived in a colony of expatriates, they never assimilated.

As to the story of this movie the less said so much the better. The actors are flat, and no wonder with the abysmal lines they are given, but he story is pure hokum too.

Avoid.
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