Review of Shalimar

Shalimar (1978)
Absurdity should have killed itself !
26 July 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Sure this initially has a special character for a thriller / heist movie. It's like a dark version of (It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World - 1963), where the race is about big ruby, the racers are top thieves, and the loser gets simply killed. It's clear that director / writer (Krishna Shah) wanted to allure both the American and Indian viewers by mixing a Hollywood heist plot which Bollywood didn't use to, with some Bollywood songs and dances which Hollywood didn't use to, casting actors from both sides, to lose - eventually - the viewers of both sides! Actually the movie bombed at the box office; maybe because it seemed exotic for the 2 teams of viewers, maybe for artistic faults, or maybe for both matters!

As for the artistic faults, (Rex Harrison), while smartly cast as the elegant mysterious billionaire Sir (John Locksley), gave his worst performance ever; he must be rolling in his grave out of regret. He congealed his face with one unbearably neutral reaction. Then did nothing but phoning in his lines in so indifferent way. You can see he was uneasy about the whole project; particularly when the only scene that he made right was his death scene!

Want even bigger disaster? There is. It's (Sylvia Miles) as Countess (Rasmussen). Very few times in my life I watched something this confusing. Truly, I've spent all the time asking myself; was that a man, or a woman?! And to give you a perfect nervous breakdown; while she looked like a circus freak, everybody in the movie referred to her as ravishing woman. Even (Harrison)'s character raved at one moment about how "Death should've killed itself before touching a beauty like that."??!! Enough to tell you, that I was certain that she would turn out to be a MAN at the end as a twist. And I couldn't assure that she was a woman, unless when I went to IMDb after the viewing!

Want even bigger and bigger disaster? The mother of all disasters? OK, there is. The movie's script! (Shah) made a big mistake when he wrote the movie besides directing it. Because his writing isn't as good as his directing. Review with me: What was the point out of Sir (John)'s fake paralysis?! What was the point out of Col. (Columbus), played by (John Saxon), fake limp and muteness? So the movie repeats the same move, with more than one character, pointlessly! What was the point out of the running debate of "I heard him scream"?!! What was the point when the island people turn (Columbus) into a god?!! In brief, what a superfluous, unsolved, points!

Moreover, the awkward third act: The way how (Kumar), played by (Dharmendra), stole the ruby is super naive. The thing is, he passed all the deadly advanced barriers without any high tech, using some idiot means; like the black and white suit which was incredibly obvious to a degree that made Sir (John) blind for not seeing it! Then, right in the middle of (Kumar)'s escaping with the ruby, the movie inserts such a long song about life and death, and after it ends, we return to follow (Kumar)'s escaping. Now this is completely wrong and badly provocative, producing one of the most unnecessary songs in movie history!

The ending wasn't less awkward: Sir (John) is killed by sudden local revolution (!!), (Kumar) reveals that he's a police officer (HOW??), and his reason to steal the ruby is because "It gave us so much troubles." (Another HOW??). And while the revolutionists are chasing (Kumar) for the ruby, he doesn't care and gets married, then the movie ends, to make me laugh like a drain! (Was there a canceled "Part 2"?!). So, all in all, I can't say that (Shah)'s writing isn't as good as his directing. No. It rather destroyed his directing!

On the contrary, (Shah) as a director was very good. He mastered some thrilling sequences, and distinct cadres. The editing was sufficiently hot. "Hum Bewafa Harghiz Na the" is a timeless classic. Composer (R. D. Rudman)'s name guarantees something between zest and immortality. The production succeeded in being as over-the-top as the story. The cinematography made an image that was as stately as the sets, and as elegant as the leads. (Dharmendra) and (Zeenat Aman) are icons more than stars, their charisma and credibility are fabulous.

By the way, in 1978 many of the Indian cinema's conservative values were being broken. So it wasn't that weird to repeat the shot of the naked blond girl, who was sleeping with the lead, on and on. Perhaps the movie was just happy with it, if not proud of it! Additionally, the 2 leads' little kiss at the final shot was one of the earliest kisses filmed in Bollywood movies after breaking the taboo of "kissing". FYI, the Indian censorship used to consider kissing on screen "indecent" since 1947, before things got changed in the early 1970s with movies like (Bobby - 1972). Not the way to progress if you asked me!

But getting more sexual isn't the only thing to remember (Shalimar) with. Because it's different and so ambitious Indian thriller. However, part of the performance and the casting, along with the movie's mind, namely its script, stood in front of this very movie's quality. It's like an entertaining piece of work that suffered an invasion of absurdity. By rephrasing a line from the movie: "Absurdity should've killed itself before touching a beauty like that."

It needs a remake. Whether comes from Bollywood or Hollywood, it needs a remake.

Funny PS: On the movie's international poster, you'll find no one but the British and American stars. And on the Indian poster, you'll find no one but the Indian stars!
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