The Limey (1999)
1/10
One of the most boring films I've ever seen
18 July 2013
I'm getting to the point now where I'm distrusting the ratings on this site because so many movies with above 7 ratings turn out to be boring pretentious tripe.

Honestly, there was nothing in this movie that redeemed it. The acting was almost non-existent, the editing was clumsy and bizarre (possibly in some mis-guided attempt to appear "artsy") and the plot..... well there really wasn't one. There was certainly no action, no suspense, no thrills, no warmth, no likable characters, no intrigue, no message, no interesting dialogue, no gripping relationships or drama .... just a lot of repetition of boring scenes (for what purpose is beyond me), blank stares for long periods of time (possibly an attempt to build drama but all it did was build frustration with how awful the film was) and lots of pointless badly written wooden conversation between characters.

I got just over half way through and felt proud of myself for having suffered so long but at that point I started skipping bits of the film. I started carefully, only skipping small sections and soon realised I could easily jump several minutes at a time and miss nothing at all. Finally made a huge skip to the last 10 mins or so. YAY! I thought, a bit of action! Even tho I couldn't care less what happened to anyone. I was just hoping for relief to the tedious boredom. But my hope was short-lived and actually changed to anger because the ending made not one bit of sense in the context of the rest of the movie. It was lame and silly.

I fail to see how anyone can give this a score above 2. I might have to start watching movies rated below 5 and maybe I'll have better luck. So dear reviewers, slow, boring and badly written/acted/shot/edited/produced does NOT equal meaningful and artsy. It just equals a waste of everyone's time.

Conclusion: Don't' bother. Watch In Bruges instead. That's one of the few movies with a decent rating that actually deserves it.
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