The Mooring (2012)
4/10
A little bit STABBY
20 March 2013
Warning: Spoilers
OK, at the outset, I was all ready to ADORE this movie- an indie film about a group of teenage girls on a "technology intervention" outing. And- for real- there are some true moments of FEAR in this film that are hard to come by. The scares rely not on special effects, but on the chemistry between the characters and their imaginative acting, which is raw and honest.

HOWEVER.

Pros: The opening scene cuts to about 30-40 minutes of extremely realistic teen-girl talk. If you are not a high-school teenager Guru like me, you will probably hate the hell out of this stuff. They are annoying, they are immature, they are everything teenage girls are SUPPOSED to be.

You quickly realize the "sidekick" girl is the kidnapped girl from the opening sequence with severe Stockholm syndrome and you KNOW it's going to go DOWN when he tries to replace her. LIKE YOU DO WHEN YOUR KIDNAPPED GIRLFRIEND IS GETTING OLD.

Half of the girls have problems or disabilities like asthma that make them sure-fire DEAD. Hi- chick who gets MAULED in a bear-trap- Jason would have murdered you double-quick, you are lucky you even made it out of that trap at all.

Cons: I have NO IDEA why this trashy psycho is murdering young white girls. Other than that they are young white girls.

There is like 40 minutes of exposition in the beginning that is not especially relevant, except to make you like the 17 different girls and not want them to die. But then they ALL die. Almost.

The ENDING: YES. GET HIM. But also, WTF? Why. and What happens next. I dunno.

As you can tell, this stabby movie made me a little bit stabby. They had some great raw material to work with in this talented little group of actresses. But in the end it just goes nowhere.

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