Review of Birdemic: Shock and Terror

Failure –noun 1. an act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success: 2. nonperformance of something due, required, or expected: 3. James Nguyen's "Birdemic". Birdemic is just plan awful. It's doesn't even belong in the 'it's so bad, it's good' group of bad movies. It's lacks any sense of entertainment. At first, I thought this was a student film, due to it's windows movie maker CGI effects, wooden acting, audio conflict and bad editing shots, but no, this movie was just produce by James Nguyen, the modern day Ed Wood with Tippi Hedren serving as his Bela Lugusi. He never received any formal training in movie-making, but instead grew up watching the movies of Alred Hitchcock, including his 1963 picture 'The birds'. It took the director four years to make this movie, and it's still awful. Please James Nguyen, learn how to make a movie, please. Birdemic: Shock and Terror starts with the shocking and terrifying Rod (Alan Bagh) who the camera loves to show driving and walking over loop music, badly made sound effects, or blank silence. Rod meets up with aspiring fashion model Nathalie (Whitney Moore) and begins dating her. The dialogue between the two wooden actors are just bad. It's like a hurricane blew through the script and devastated every line in it's path. The whole idea of the two main characters being a couple is just awkward as both have no connection with each other, it felt like the actress didn't really wanted to be there. The whole love story is just painfully to watch due to it's dullish. The first part of the movie is so boring with non needed scenes, bad fade in and fade outs, and long pauses when cuts are needed. Most of the audience is just waiting for the birds to attack and kill these folks just because the movie need some type of entertaining value. Rod and Nathalie woke up to find that their town Half Moon Bay is under attack from CGI photoshop eagles and vultures that spit acid, disappear in end of shots and explode into flames upon striking the ground. I'm not a naturalist like Charles Darwin, but I don't think birds explode or spit acid due to Global Warning effects. The movie love to mention Global Warning, but doesn't really do a good job on explaining it. They even had a badly written doctor on a bridge to try to explain it, and he wouldn't do the job. Even Al Gore would hate this movie. The whole plot is directless, and the movie tries to pay tribute to 'The Birds', but felt like a cheap knock off of that. The sound is horrible, there are scenes where the movie go silence, yet in others, such as the one at the beaches. The sound of the waves crashing, makes the movie hard to hear. Don't get me started on the annoying sound during the attack, and things rubbing against the microphone. Oh god the bird screams, my ears are bleeding. I wasn't even aware it was possible to fail this badly. It fails as a romance and it really fails as a horror flick. I try to look for any good notes for the film, and I can't find anything worth noting. That's how bad, I dislike this film. I can't believe that they are even thinking of making a 2nd movie: Birdemic 2: The Resurrection. Birdemic is just pure cinematic failure on absolutely every conceivable level. I'm surprised it wasn't written, produced, directed and starred in by Alan Smithee. This movie makes Troll 2 look like Orson Welles 'Citizen Kane' or Tommy Wiseau 'The Room' look like Godfather. Check it out at your own cost. It's worth watching if you like your eyes prick by GIF clip-art birds.