Der Eisbär (1998)
3/10
Cheap German Pulp Fiction Rip-Off
23 January 2013
Warning: Spoilers
The story makes no sense at all. A hired gun has to get stopped from his contract to kill a snitch with a bag of money. He misses his call, gets his job done and for whatever reason he and his agent should be killed now. There is another "plot" involving wiring up a gangster boss car to bomb him, but the car gets stolen. It even has a tracking device installed, but instead of phoning home and asking for the location, the beautiful assassin decides to go into a nearby bar and get drunk where she meets the hit-man who instead of warning his partner that assassins will come for him soon, also decides to get heavily drunk in the same bar. That is it. In fact nothing of importance is happening all the time. The car jackers sub-plot involves driving to a diner to steal hamburgers and is interrupted by their infantile humor. You will see many famous faces of German television who will in the end meet up in a shoot-out including several minutes of angry shouting at each other. The hit-man gets wounded, but is still able to walk away with the girl he just met. Instead of getting to a doctor and survive, they get the money that is still next to the dead snitch and decide to bleed to death on a nameless state road.

The obvious comparison is Pulp Fiction. While the original focuses on absurd humor and violent shoot-outs with great cinematography, this is like the version for 14 year olds joking about penis sizes on the school yard smoking their mild tasting cigarettes. Oops, I just spoilered half of the jokes the actors will narrate. The overacting and the slow pace of the movie make it really annoying to watch. You will see a bar that looks like everywhere else with a group of xenophobic regulars, the rapid transit system of cologne and a no-name diner. This is no way near Tarantino even though it re-enacts parts of other movies all the time. Not even the Mexican standoff in the end is in any way impressive.

Instead of watching this garbage I should have played a mission of Grand Theft Auto. It's storyline would have made much more sense and be way more entertaining. Luckily the protagonists died so there won't be a sequel.
1 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed