Tron: Legacy (2010)
I'd rather watch paint dry than watch this turkey again.
6 September 2012
Warning: Spoilers
Wowsers. I picked this up on my VOD service. What a disappointment.

I'm a fan of the original Tron. I loved it when I was a kid and I actually made a point of watching it again about a year ago. The original was certainly not as good as I'd thought when I was a stinky little schoolyard kid, but as an adult I could never say that it wasn't inventive in both story and presentation.

Tron: Legacy is neither. It's horribly clichéd and boring, and tarnishes the, ahem, legacy, of the original. I can't even recommend this for sarcastic laughter viewing, as it takes itself way too seriously and goes on for far too long (over 2 hours).

Much of the cliché has already been covered in other reviews. I'll illuminate other plot elements which I found distracting.

The movie begins with some sort of stock scheme being pursued by Dillinger's son (Dillinger was the 'bad guy' in the original), who is somehow involved at an executive-level with Flynn's software company. Why?? How?? This makes no sense.

During the 'Dillinger scheming meeting', Flynn's son breaks into his dad's software company...or at least I think it's the elder Flynn's company. My confusion comes from the fact that, as the son of Flynn, couldn't Junior just walk in? Come to think of it, I think Junior was on the board of directors or something too. Are you confused? Welcome to Tron: Legacy! After breaking in to a building that he presumably could have entered through the front door, Flynn Jr steals a piece of software and ends up base-jumping off the roof to make his getaway on a Ducati motorcycle. He makes his big getaway by jumping down, on the bike, from a freeway overpass and onto the street below. I must have missed something...since when did they start making concrete freeway guard rails angled?

How do I know it was a Ducati, you ask? Because it was product-placed and mentioned late in the film by name. Thanks Disney!

A phone page sent to Flynn Sr's buddy Allen results in Junior going to his dad's old arcade and finding a secret room hidden behind a machine. He then enters a few commands on a computer whose software-language should be completely foreign to him, and zaps himself with the old man's laser to enter 'the grid'. Did he do this on purpose, or was it an accident?

The 'grid' has apparently become a sort of working city, full of leisure. I don't know how or why, I assumed all of the inhabitants would be working since they are programs written with a specific purpose. Is their purpose to waste time?

What I do know is that there is an 'off-grid' portion where Flynn Sr lives. Off-grid is a scary-looking wasteland with ominous rocky terrain and thunderclouds above. I think there was wind too. Why? How? Isn't the 'grid' supposed to be representative of an electronic circuit and/or software code? How can there be an 'off-grid' area?

It just goes on and on like this. Jr meets evil Flynn, who I thought was actually good Flynn at first until Jr and Sr reunite off-grid. At his off-grid château, Sr gives us a talk about him replicating himself, having that plan somehow turn bad, and getting stuck inside the grid. I believe he's wearing linen while he gives us this talk. How does he eat in the grid? Who's cutting the guy's hair and where'd he buy the threads?

There's a chick with cropped hair hanging out with Sr. Now she's hanging out with Jr and Sr both. She turns out to be the last surviving member of a race that spontaneously arose inside 'the grid'. All others of her ilk were killed off by evil Flynn. Why?? How??

Flynn Sr tells us that the magic exit to the outside world will evaporate in only a few hours. I don't know why, but that's what he said. So now the threesome is hell bent on getting to the magic exit. They fly some sort of spaceship, linearly, to the gate. Why? They're flying, can't they come up with a better plan then just flying straight into the heart of bad-guy-ville? And how is the spaceship flying? Is it aerodynamic, using the air for lift? How does it propel itself? Why don't they just fly at a higher altitude and avoid bad-guy-ville altogether?

They wind up in bad-guy-ville and Flynn Sr's disk weapon / identifier is stolen. I think this prevents Sr from leaving, but I don't know why. There's an spaceship dogfight which occurs, and out of the blue an incognito Tron appears...then dies in some weird martyrdom action. I honestly didn't know this helmeted, latex-ed character was Tron until reading these reviews. I think he was present earlier in the movie too, but I wouldn't know for sure because as I said, he was wearing a helmet and bodysuit like everyone else. How's this: If Tron was there throughout the movie, then I was too. I was the one wearing the helmet and bodysuit. My presence would make about as much sense as anything else happening in this elaborate waste of time.

I forgot to add: Sr has some sort of superpowers. How?? Why?? He used these a couple times, including at the end to prevent evil Flynn from escaping into the outside world. And what would evil Flynn do if he made it to the outside world? Bore me to death? If this is the 'new normal' of Hollywood filmmaking, then I'm never watching another current movie again. It's insulting and a waste of time. Whoever green-lighted this should be ashamed of themselves. How do you look at yourself in the mirror every day, knowing you're responsible for creating this travesty? WHY WAS IT ALLOWED TO LIVE!!??
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