5/10
A comedy classic
22 April 2012
Warning: Spoilers
There must be some sort of curse on Coco Chanel projects; the Katherine Hepburn musical, the recent Shirley MacLaine TV movie, and this early-1970s feature film are all unbelievably bad. This atrocity, though, is some kind of classic of unintentional comedy in its first half.

Marie-France Pisier displays all the charm and acting genius she showed in "The Other Side of Midnight" (less than zero) as Chanel, and the script does her no favors. Rehearsing for a singing competition, she asks her aunt (Brigitte Fossey), "Am I really very bad?" As we struggle for a response to THAT, Fossey provides it. "I wouldn't say very bad, just bad." Uh-huh. In this telling, Coco is an odd, petulant little snapping turtle who manipulates people into giving her what she wants. This includes Rutger Hauer as a titled speculator who puts Coco up in his mansion, and Karen Black as a courtesan (with one of the worst French accents ever heard in movies.) The presence of Black and Hauer, two of the oddest actors ever to appear on screen, makes this a must-see. (If you were lamenting a shortage of Rutger Hauer/Karen Black sex scenes, this is the movie for you.) Once the movie settles into the romance of Coco and Timothy Dalton (as a coal merchant), the fun rapidly drains out. I started fast-forwarding long before the "tragic" ending, only slowing down for Peter Allen's memorably overwrought rendition of the theme song (which we've heard violins massacring during the movie's slow patches--all 5000 of them.)
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