Review of The Lion King

Review of Sega Genesis version. A lion grows up, and does stuff. Well, that's the plot that this actually conveys, as it doesn't at all attempt to go into what happens in the film(I guess they just expected you to go straight from watching that to playing this), and this follows the law of licensed games sucking. It is, in fact, quite probably the worst "Disney Action" title. I'll get the little good out of the way first. The animation uses people from the feature(music is also from it, as are all of the locations), and you can really tell, movements look exactly right. Graphics aren't bad for the time. Same goes for sound. Level design is nicely enough done. If they didn't throw crap at you, it might even be enjoyable to work your way through them. Yup, we've gotten to the bad. While I wish I could be comparing this to Aladdin, the one truly great of these, I must instead use Hercules, because these both get a lot of the same wrong. Let's start with the 3D... this is worse at that than that, the one positive being that there's less of it. The one segment is one of the many burn-through-a-bunch-of-hard-earned-lives, here with you running away from the stampede of...wildebeests? You head toward the screen, meaning that you can't tell what you are running at... that isn't a big issue, since it's limited to rocks, that you get warning of(too late, as with everything else in this... it doesn't help that it reacts too fast *or* slow, and the amount of movement either excessive or not enough)... the problem is that you can't tell if you are to the side, or in front, of these beings. You can't tell at all where anything is in relation to you. So they suddenly "turn" and harm you, and, like with everything else in this, it takes almost nothing for you to die. Getting back to the regular platforming, for most of it, you can just barely identify what hurts you, much less how you avoid or injure it. This is infuriatingly, abusively difficult(overly fast and intense, and just plain exhausting) right from the very start. Actually, first and last are relatively easy(and the final boss is a breeze, unsatisfying... and you "earn" nothing, no cool cutscene, no highscore table). There is far too much going on at once. When you can just barely handle one foe, why does this throw several at you simultaneously? Did they think they were making a freaking beat-'em-up or something? Most of the enemies aren't even from the movie(one of your main ones is a salamander that does appear once, though not in that function), with you fighting spiders, bats, large felines and... porcupines? Would they even be there, geographically...? How would you fight these? By jumping on them(because Super Mario made money). Nope, it doesn't make sense! And don't worry about the ones you wouldn't want to get on top of, they can be flipped upside down by use of the short-range roar(what, you thought this would grant you a ranged attack? No, in spite of how badly it needs it), that stuns small animals. Anyway, did you ever wonder where all those goose-stepping hyenas went after the Be Prepared(that scene appears here, by the way... later in the chronology, and with your presence! What on Earth?) song/spoken word? Into this, you fight tons of them - the one type of adversary that's actually from the flick! They are the main opposition(other than inanimate dangers that come out of nowhere... why are stones falling when getting towards Timon and Pumbaa?! In fact, why are they only in the bonus areas, that are so vaguely defined that you will almost definitely mess up the first time you try one, and that one failure will throw you back out of that, without having earned anything), they have much more health than you, as mentioned before they attack in packs(so you have to "juggle" several, when they can even come at you from different sides, and you may not be able to tell what they'll do, meaning how you should dodge them, and there is no way to temporarily hinder them so you can focus on one while another recovers), and they only have a tiny window for you to hit them, and often even if you fit into that *and* manage to damage them, you'll be wounded, yourself. And almost invariably, when one can be injured, another is ready to charge at you. Well, once Simba is adult(over 50% of this has him as a kid, and he is *terrible*, so weak), he finally gains the claw slash, and he can use that to maul them... well, whenever they aren't engaging in those combos that you simply have to wait through. Of course, this leaves you open from behind, *and* the one you're whaling on can sometimes *still* strike you(fairness, what's that?). Oh, and you're supposed to be able to leap onto them and take them out with your paw with no chance of their retaliation, but it's tough as crap to get it to work. This barely has a pause at any point. The real kicker? There is no password system, die completely and have to start all over. The challenges in this are seriously counterintutive. Why does this have me fighting Donkey Kong? He doesn't even have a princess for me! No, seriously, it's him. What else do you call a large monkey throwing rolling objects(...fruits?) at you(that you have to avoid), across rising terraces, with you gradually making your way to him? And don't get me started on that waterfall, where you have to get from falling, sinking log to the next, with you repeatedly finding that you are going backwards, not progressing. And the maze, near the end...! This is not gratifying. There is constant bloodless violence and some disturbing content in this. I recommend this to... masochists, I guess. 5/10