Review of Fast Five

Fast Five (2011)
1/10
Lacks the Credibility of a Road Runner-Coyote Cartoon
14 February 2012
Okay, you chase down a speeding train in a rickety tractor rig, bumping along on desert terrain. You pull up to the speeding train, matching its exact speed, as you deftly cut the entire side of the box car with a blow torch. You hop in and deftly park a Ford GT onto the tractor rig not once, but twice. Then you drive a Corvette Stingray off the speeding train; the car crashing 15 feet onto the bumpy desert terrain off a speeding train and it causes no more damage than a small pothole. You speed the Corvette down bumpy desert terrain and are headed straight for the steel girder of a bridge spanning a 500 ft. deep gorge as a guy jumps off a train onto the car at the last split second.The girder apparently moved out of the way. You jump from the car as it hurtles downward off the cliff towards the water; a much longer plunge than from the Golden Gate Bridge and you pop up from the water, unscathed, as if you had just dove into a pool. You're then strung up suspended by chains in a warehouse but simply snap out of the chains just before the bad guys torture you and escape....All this happens after a speeding prison bus collides with a black Accura sports car..and the car wins! The car is undamaged as the bus rolls a dozen times and lands upside down with none of the handcuffed prisoners having been killed...and did the Rock take acting lessons from OJ?...This film is unconscionable garbage and is not worth watching.
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