Review of Mr. Popper's Penguins

I absolutely love the book. I'm also crazy about penguins. I collect all kinds of penguin memorabilia and will usually give a film about penguins a free pass. So a scathing review from me should really tell you how bad this film is. Let me start by comparing this to the book. Now I don't demand complete faithfulness, but changes made should at least make sense in adapting a book to the screen. This film is almost as if the writers decided to do the exact opposite of everything in the book. In the book Mr Popper is poor, happily married, wants a penguin, gets more penguins to stop it being lonely. In the film he is rich, divorced, wants nothing to do with the penguin, gets more penguins by accident. It leaves us with some tripe that has been done over and over again. Businessman puts business over family, has an inconvenience come into his life, learns the value of family, the end. Please look at The Santa Clause for how to do this. Characters seemed real despite the fantasy elements. Mr Popper's Penguins goes for the most contrived story points imaginable. It's pretty lazy writing, to the point where having Carrey name the penguins was probably an example of the best names these writers could come up with. The film also makes everybody so painfully nice, and then struggles to find a villain. Clark Gregg plays a zoo keeper that is entirely in the right. Yet the film hides him in shadowy cars and gives him ominous music. He should have been the hero of this movie. Krumholtz plays a neighbour whose life is made a living hell with all the noises. Even though it is against the rules to have penguins in the apartments, he is once again played as the villain when he tries to get rid of the penguins. This is a world where levelheadedness is a sign of evil. Further emphasised by dumb ass Gugino. She's the ex-wife that will gladly leave a date for a man that failed at a 15 year marriage, and then thinks that buying pet penguins is a good idea for her kids. It is also a very unfunny film. I can't even remember any jokes, or at least any punchlines. Lots of poo and fart jokes though. This is a film that I would never want a child to see. It gives the impression that parents will just get back together, that your own selfish happiness is above that of other living creatures, that breaking the rules is fine if it's done in a cute way and so on. Please parents, do your kids a huge favor and buy the book. Sit down and read it with them. It will be cheaper and will actually take less time than sitting through this movie.