As Georgia Lass once said, "interest begets expectation, and expectation begets disappointment, so the key to avoiding disappointment is to avoid interest. A equals B equals C equals A, or
whatever." And boy, should I have listened.
So I watched SyFy's (sic!) Tin Man and Alice and thought, "well, those were {more than} a bit good, so this might also be alright..."
WRONG. This... thing, for I dread to call it a film, is god (lower case 'g') bloody awful. It could've tried passing itself as a {bad} horror movie, it certainly had the body count for it (I can almost see some Whedon fan-boy (devoid, naturally, of anything resembling talent or imagination) writing this while drooling profusely), except it didn't. I'm not saying that EVERY movie should have blood and guts galore, but holy hell, THIS movie could've sure used some.
Which brings me to the characters. No, sorry, the only reason why anyone might care for a few seconds about any of them is "hey, look, it's deputy Andy" or "hey, well that's the rev from Haven." (Yes, I know that this was before Haven). Speaking of the rev, he may have looked okay on Haven (but that's down to not having enough screen-time to really make himself look inept and having guys like Eric Balfour to compete with (my grandma could do a better job and she's been in the ground for nearly twenty years now)), but he's absolutely bland.
And one final note to the writers: BACK-STORY. If you decide you want a werewolf that suddenly learns to wolf-out at will it might be useful to EXPLAIN just how that happened without resorting to motivational speeches seemingly written by a three year-old.. If you have dead parents/grandfather use them somehow to move the plot. If you have someone who can write... oh, never me mind, you don't.
But I digress, this was, after all, probably thought of by an airhead who was reading Pelevin while sitting on the bog. Ugh.
P.S. It's only suitable this thing was followed by Skinwalkers, a perfect night of the living brain-dead so to speak.
So I watched SyFy's (sic!) Tin Man and Alice and thought, "well, those were {more than} a bit good, so this might also be alright..."
WRONG. This... thing, for I dread to call it a film, is god (lower case 'g') bloody awful. It could've tried passing itself as a {bad} horror movie, it certainly had the body count for it (I can almost see some Whedon fan-boy (devoid, naturally, of anything resembling talent or imagination) writing this while drooling profusely), except it didn't. I'm not saying that EVERY movie should have blood and guts galore, but holy hell, THIS movie could've sure used some.
Which brings me to the characters. No, sorry, the only reason why anyone might care for a few seconds about any of them is "hey, look, it's deputy Andy" or "hey, well that's the rev from Haven." (Yes, I know that this was before Haven). Speaking of the rev, he may have looked okay on Haven (but that's down to not having enough screen-time to really make himself look inept and having guys like Eric Balfour to compete with (my grandma could do a better job and she's been in the ground for nearly twenty years now)), but he's absolutely bland.
And one final note to the writers: BACK-STORY. If you decide you want a werewolf that suddenly learns to wolf-out at will it might be useful to EXPLAIN just how that happened without resorting to motivational speeches seemingly written by a three year-old.. If you have dead parents/grandfather use them somehow to move the plot. If you have someone who can write... oh, never me mind, you don't.
But I digress, this was, after all, probably thought of by an airhead who was reading Pelevin while sitting on the bog. Ugh.
P.S. It's only suitable this thing was followed by Skinwalkers, a perfect night of the living brain-dead so to speak.