While they say that fifteen minutes can save you fifteen percent on your auto insurance, by not wasting 104 minutes by watching Drive Angry, you might very well save your actual life. Nothing in this world makes me hurt more, dare I say, than a Nicolas Cage movie, which is probably why The Fat Man is so obviously in love with the man. Cage apparently shows up to the set of every single film he's in with this 'fuck it' kind of attitude to start and then works in 'the crazy' as the movie goes along. This time: It's all crazy! Drive Angry, which was released earlier this year, sported the fact it was filmed in 3D. While it might have been a marketing bullet point at one time, it doesn't seem like anyone is really enjoying anything in 3D these days. And I can hardly imagine it added any depth to this over the top, in your face, desolation game of cat and mouse between Ghost Rider and the leader of a satanic cult who killed his baby.
The dialog includes such gems as: "What kind of gun is that?" "The kind of gun you need to kill people like him." "And by shoot the tires, I mean aim for their heads." And my personal favorite, "My whole life has been about waiting. Waiting tables. Waiting for things to get better. Now it means something. I'm with you until the end." Of course all of these lines are spoken with absolutely no acting skills supporting them whatsoever. Cage is a complete hack and everyone knows it. The only roles he's ever "good" in are ones that utilize this without calling so much attention to it like a blazing neon sign of a bull being yanked by the balls. (Also in the movie.) Unsurprisingly, Amber Heard is completely useless except for maybe the chick fight aboard a Winnebago. And the only thing menacing about Billy Burke are questions about why he is wearing what appears to be red velvet in the middle of summer in the mid-west.
Yes there are explosions. Yes there is plenty of female nudity. In fact one scene that might have started to threaten to be cool is where Nicolas' character is having acrobatic sex with this bimbo and manages to kill multiple assailants. Unfortunately, instead of continuing to play it up for laughs, they decide to have her become traumatized by the event.
And that generally is where the movie fails completely. If you want to sell me on your undead vengeful father in pursuit of redneck cultists, I'm fine with that. But you have to stick with the tone you set. I mean what the hell was up with The Accountant anyway? And, you know, it wouldn't hurt to actually give your characters more personality than the cars they're driving.
The dialog includes such gems as: "What kind of gun is that?" "The kind of gun you need to kill people like him." "And by shoot the tires, I mean aim for their heads." And my personal favorite, "My whole life has been about waiting. Waiting tables. Waiting for things to get better. Now it means something. I'm with you until the end." Of course all of these lines are spoken with absolutely no acting skills supporting them whatsoever. Cage is a complete hack and everyone knows it. The only roles he's ever "good" in are ones that utilize this without calling so much attention to it like a blazing neon sign of a bull being yanked by the balls. (Also in the movie.) Unsurprisingly, Amber Heard is completely useless except for maybe the chick fight aboard a Winnebago. And the only thing menacing about Billy Burke are questions about why he is wearing what appears to be red velvet in the middle of summer in the mid-west.
Yes there are explosions. Yes there is plenty of female nudity. In fact one scene that might have started to threaten to be cool is where Nicolas' character is having acrobatic sex with this bimbo and manages to kill multiple assailants. Unfortunately, instead of continuing to play it up for laughs, they decide to have her become traumatized by the event.
And that generally is where the movie fails completely. If you want to sell me on your undead vengeful father in pursuit of redneck cultists, I'm fine with that. But you have to stick with the tone you set. I mean what the hell was up with The Accountant anyway? And, you know, it wouldn't hurt to actually give your characters more personality than the cars they're driving.