5/10
Hitler's Close Shave With Death!
27 July 2011
Warning: Spoilers
Three mobsters fresh out of Alcatraz, where they served eleven years for income tax evasion, take a wealthy industrialist up on his offer to ice Adolf Hitler for a cool million bucks. "White Bondage" director Nick Grinde and a stalwart cast headed up by Ward Bond combine chuckles with cringes in this outlandish World War II thriller. Scenarists Karl Brown of "White Legion" and Steve Neuman of "The Hoodlum" have a blast ridiculing the Nazis as these jailbirds field one lucky break after another. Hollywood made its share of propaganda potboilers during World War II to bolster morale at home and paint a portrait of America as a bastion of democracy to the world abroad. Naturally, nothing about "Hitler: Dead or Alive" is remotely credible, but it is fun to watch. The Office of War Information objected to wartime melodramas like "Hitler: Dead or Alive" because they contained more fiction than fact. Typically, the Nazis were depicted as morons who were as easy to knock over as tenpins in a bowling alley.

When Steve Maschick (Ward Bond of "The Searchers"), Joe 'The Book' Conway (Paul Fix of "Red River") and Hans 'Dutch' Havermann (Warren Hymer of "Police Bullets") meet Samuel Thornton (Russell Hicks of "Scarlet Street"), they cannot malinger because the local police have given them 24 hours to clear out of town. They want to take Thornton up on his deal to knock off the Führer. Basically, Thornton wants Hitler dead because the Gestapo murdered his brother while he was serving as an exchange professor in Germany. Thornton's attorney draws up a contract for Steve and company, and they enlist in the Royal Canadian Air Force, cross the Atlantic in a convoy, and train as paratroopers in England. Later, they commandeer a transport plane and compel the pilot, Johnny Stevens (Bruce Edwards of "Bombardier"), to fly them to Germany. When an enemy fighter attacks them, Steve shoots the German plane down with his tommy gun. Reluctantly, Stevens has to bail out with Steve and his stooges, and they figure that they are 200 west miles of Berlin.

Our intrepid heroes steal a Nazi transport truck. No sooner have they stolen the truck than the Gestapo stop them. Joe and Steve explain that they have just flown from England and must see somebody-in-charge. The cretinous Gestapo officer agrees to top off their gas tank, get them some grub, and escort them to headquarters. The Gestapo take them to Dachau. Camp commandant Colonel Hecht (Felix Basch of "None Shall Escape") refuses to believe their story about a secret message for Hitler. Hecht places them under protective custody in a cell until morning. It doesn't take Steve long to locate a hidden microphone in their cell. The commandant confides in his girlfriend, Countess Else von Brandt (Dorothy Tree of "The Asphalt Jungle"), that he wants to obtain the message so he can deliver it personally to Hitler. She convinces Hecht to let them carry out their mission. As it turns out, Else is none other than a notorious anti-Axis resistance leader code-named 'Rosebud' hiding out in Germany. She has an Ace of Spades poker card slipped in with their meals with instructions. Our heroes break out of Dachau, masquerade as Nazis, and steal a car with Else in it. During their flight for freedom, Dutch is crouched on the running board when the sentries kill him. Steve and company manage to breakout. Else leaves them in the woods and arranges for another resistance agent to help them. She returns to Dachau and tells Hecht that the Americans terrorized her. Hecht and his troops examine Dutch's body and find that the Americans have come to the Fatherland to murder Hitler for a million dollars.

Later, Else meets Steve, Joe, and Stevens in a cellar at her estate. Steve reveals his designs to kill Hitler. Naturally, Else is skeptical about Steve's chances of rubbing out the Führer. Moreover, she believes that slaying Hitler will not stop the war because his generals would continue fighting. The following morning our heroes learn that Meyer (Frederick Giermann of "Hotel Berlin"), the guy who guided them to the cellar, once knew Hitler. Meyer tells them about how he saved Hitler's life after the future Führer was beaten up in Munich. Hitler's assailants carved him up broken beer bottles and left a permanent scar on his upper lip. Hitler grew his Charlie Chaplin mustache to conceal the scar. Steve assures his pals now he will not be fooled when he gets his hands on Hitler. Upstairs, Hecht shows up with troops at Else's house to search the premises for the escapees. During the search, Steve eavesdrops on Hecht as he talks about how Hitler will kill children in reprisal for attempts on his life. Finally, Steve's patriotic impulses trump his mercenary ones. Anyway, Hecht looks forward to his date with Else at a party thrown for Hitler. The Nazi High Command invites Else, and she insists her own personal orchestra accommodate her.

Hitler (Bobby Watson) shows up during the final quarter hour for a dance at his headquarters with Steve and company masquerading as musicians. Everything go awry, but Steve abducts Hitler. He shaves Hitler's mustache to be sure he has the dictator. When Hecht's men captures Steve, Hitler, and the others, they refuse to believe that Hitler is who he claims to be. In route to the firing squad, Hitler pleads for mercy and runs. Hecht shoots him in the back. They line up Steve and Meyer and kill them. The action concludes with Thornton telling two newspaper reporters that it was unrealistic of his part to believe that killing Hitler would end the war.

The last four minutes of "Hitler: Dead Or Alive" bristles with patriotic speeches. Mind you, it is doubtful the Royal Canadian Air Force would have let ex-convicts like Maschick, Conway, and Havermann join up. Nevertheless, logic has little to do with this kind of fantasy.
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