No Strings Attached (I) (2011)
5/10
Okay for what it is, but incredibly blimpish
5 May 2011
Of course I didn't expect a subversive movie, when I started watching "No Strings Attached", but parts of it seemed unintentionally blimpish considering how hard the movie strives to be the exact opposite. With the working title "F*** Buddies" later changed to "Friends With Benefits" then changed to the final title, "No Strings Attached" obviously sells itself as a liberal kind of romantic comedy, one that acknowledges the lifestyle of modern, young people. Boy does it miss its mark.

Firstly, it's so incredibly old, boring and simply unbelievable to have characters in a movie who fit together perfectly and are happy with each other, BUT for some reason are afraid of relationships and the three words "I love you". I don't buy it, and I don't wanna see it anymore. It's the biggest RomCom cliché ever and I don't people have ever enjoyed seeing it. So can we please stop having it in romantic movies?

Secondly, the way the movie promotes equal rights is just phony. For instance, there is a gay character, who just serves one purpose: to show how the movie is okay with gay people. It's the definition of token. That character plays no role in the movie whatsoever, and still there's a couple of scenes where the joke is on him, not least the first time we get to see him and are to assume for a second that Ashton Kutcher had a drunken one night stand with him. The reaction the movie wants from us in that moment is to go: "Oh my gosh! Kutcher had sex with that ugly fairy!" And frankly, that's just insulting. I'm going a bit off topic now, but it's kind of like that moment in "Paul" where the alien makes vulgar gestures that reference anal sex between two men first, and then "redeems" itself by saying: "It's okay, I don't mind gay people." It is still disrespectful, goddammit!

Thirdly, the movie thinks it's progressive, because Kutcher is the emotional guy in the relationship, whereas Portman is distanced, concentrates on her career and then in the end turns out to be the one who has to fight to get the guy back. You know, the classic pattern, but with the genders switched. Only problem: It's AT LEAST 10 years too late for that! This is nothing new, dear makers of this movie! If anything, it's a pretty sad testimonial to how long it took for Hollywood to realize that people can think outside the box of what is the expected behavior of men and women.

Well, having said all that, I have to admit that the movie is not incredibly bad. In fact, if you like Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman, you're probably going to get a couple of laughs out of this. Kevin Kline is wasted, Ivan Reitman is nowhere near the top of his game, the script has a thousand flat characters and some cringe-worthy scenes (the period-mix tape, anyone?) but yeah, "No Strings Attached" has its amusing moments, too. It's just a bit hard to enjoy them, when the movie's general mindset leaves such a bad taste in your mouth.
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