1. Angry birds do, in fact, drop bombs. Only, they explode. Literally. I'm not kidding.
2. Shock and Terror? Check and Check.
3. All film class's first assignment should be a full length movie, such as Birdemic, so by the semester's end you can see why you really did need the class.
4. Make that, if Birdemic was your intro film, then go ahead and pay for the same course for another three semesters. Actually, just drop out.
5. Repeating a 30sec music track in order to fill up a 4min opening credit screen does not deserve a "Music by" recognition.
6. Sometimes 20-minute films that stem from a 2-minute idea can, sadly, be stretched to 90 minutes.
7. If Hitchcock was resurrected to watch this remake: 'Birds,' he'd only sue the people who brought him back.
8. To close a $1,000,000 sales call, simply thank them for their business, hang up and smile.
9. To persuade investors to give $10 million dollars, a one-slide PowerPoint presentation should seal the deal. Remember just to keep pointing at it for emphasis.
10. Kids prefer HappyMeals over seaweed. Go figure.
11. Nintendo's DuckHunt not only had better graphics, but actually produced more realistic birds (and guns) in "combat."
12. No real birds were harmed in the production. I repeat: No real birds
13. Al Gore not only changed his stance on GlobalWarming following Birdemic's release, but he spit on Director/Writer Nguyen before converting to Republicanism.
14. At least Tommy Wiseau's The Room was trying to be funny. At least Piranha3D knew what kind of movie it was.
15. As bad of actors that were in this feature, they must've learned something for acting scared of these "birds" that were as menacing as finches.
16. Sure, it's billed as a Birds redux it's just as much a Beauty & the Beast remake: Just check out daughter, Nathalie and her monster of a mother.
17. At least M. Night does make the effort to edit something.
18. Twilight now seems surprisingly more romantic.
19. I don't have the $10,000 budget this movie had, but if I did, I'd sooner risk it on one pull of a slot machine than what this movie would net.
20. My guess is: whenever the director yelled "Cut!" or "That's a Wrap!" the actors, were seeing the connection to their future.
21. It's sad when, while laughing as hard as possible at a movie, you still think this would have worked perfect as a 15-second Family Guy cutaway.
22. SYFY Channel Productions is in the process of suing for deformation of character.
23. Wearing green does not equate going green. Heck, it's not even a believable subliminal message.
24. Not all blame can be put upon the director. These actors did appear to be conscious.
25. $5/gallon for gas this summer? Ha! Call me when it becomes $100/gallon.
26. In a post-apocalyptic world, credit cards work just fine.
27. A movie about mysterious/unexplained "bird" attacks needs some time to get to that. The first 50 minutes out of 90 should be just the right about of time to watch people drive, turn left, fill up their gas tank, dance to a cruise-ship reject singer, fall in love in conjunction with making fake love in a motel, make one company rich enough to sell while simultaneously building another from scratch and land a Victoria Secret gig.
28. MST3k wouldn't know where to begin.
29. If someone tries to steal your gas can, simply wait until they, without cause, begin walking backwards, from you and their own getaway car, so the "birds" can "ironically" take them out.
30. Knocking off $1,000 off a $20,000 home solar panel is a steal.
31. Using two different Thai restaurant fronts in two simultaneous shots doesn't just equate a mistake; it makes you stupid.
32. "And on with the traffic report: 'Well, traffic is running smoothly on Cabrillo Highway, but make sure you watch out for tons of cars on the shoulder that contains what looks like moving dead people. No heh they're not zombies, but even if they were, the couple with the toy guns should take care of them.'"
33. Find yourself under attack from "birds" but that darned tourist bus just isn't holding up? Well, listen to a stranger and gather your thoughts in the fresh air, under the blue sky in plain view of the very birds you're trying to avoid.
34. If a "bird scientist" tells you to stand back, simply walk up to him and just ask him to talk. It will throw him so far off, he'll have no choice in attempting to fill some plot holes in your movie. Unsuccessfully but still.
35. Dialogue should never be plagiarized from Bazooka Joe Comics.
36. Sound effects and boom mics should be used to enhance the feature, not cause further ridicule.
37. These "birds" seem more bent on revenge than Jaws did in his fourth installment.
38. Long before Birdemic was made and someone asked the director when it was supposed to be made, his response should've been: The Day After Tomorrow repeatedly.
39. "Why can't we just give peace a chance?" is not a good movie quote in this weapon of mass destruction of a film that should've been dropped over the Taliban.
40. Dissecting this movie on every single flaw is only fruitless to anyone other than a film school teacher – believe me, it would take me HOURS to scrutinize everything wrong here. Instead: grab a beer or thirty, gather some friends and laugh away an hour and a half of purely hilarious entertainment.
2. Shock and Terror? Check and Check.
3. All film class's first assignment should be a full length movie, such as Birdemic, so by the semester's end you can see why you really did need the class.
4. Make that, if Birdemic was your intro film, then go ahead and pay for the same course for another three semesters. Actually, just drop out.
5. Repeating a 30sec music track in order to fill up a 4min opening credit screen does not deserve a "Music by" recognition.
6. Sometimes 20-minute films that stem from a 2-minute idea can, sadly, be stretched to 90 minutes.
7. If Hitchcock was resurrected to watch this remake: 'Birds,' he'd only sue the people who brought him back.
8. To close a $1,000,000 sales call, simply thank them for their business, hang up and smile.
9. To persuade investors to give $10 million dollars, a one-slide PowerPoint presentation should seal the deal. Remember just to keep pointing at it for emphasis.
10. Kids prefer HappyMeals over seaweed. Go figure.
11. Nintendo's DuckHunt not only had better graphics, but actually produced more realistic birds (and guns) in "combat."
12. No real birds were harmed in the production. I repeat: No real birds
13. Al Gore not only changed his stance on GlobalWarming following Birdemic's release, but he spit on Director/Writer Nguyen before converting to Republicanism.
14. At least Tommy Wiseau's The Room was trying to be funny. At least Piranha3D knew what kind of movie it was.
15. As bad of actors that were in this feature, they must've learned something for acting scared of these "birds" that were as menacing as finches.
16. Sure, it's billed as a Birds redux it's just as much a Beauty & the Beast remake: Just check out daughter, Nathalie and her monster of a mother.
17. At least M. Night does make the effort to edit something.
18. Twilight now seems surprisingly more romantic.
19. I don't have the $10,000 budget this movie had, but if I did, I'd sooner risk it on one pull of a slot machine than what this movie would net.
20. My guess is: whenever the director yelled "Cut!" or "That's a Wrap!" the actors, were seeing the connection to their future.
21. It's sad when, while laughing as hard as possible at a movie, you still think this would have worked perfect as a 15-second Family Guy cutaway.
22. SYFY Channel Productions is in the process of suing for deformation of character.
23. Wearing green does not equate going green. Heck, it's not even a believable subliminal message.
24. Not all blame can be put upon the director. These actors did appear to be conscious.
25. $5/gallon for gas this summer? Ha! Call me when it becomes $100/gallon.
26. In a post-apocalyptic world, credit cards work just fine.
27. A movie about mysterious/unexplained "bird" attacks needs some time to get to that. The first 50 minutes out of 90 should be just the right about of time to watch people drive, turn left, fill up their gas tank, dance to a cruise-ship reject singer, fall in love in conjunction with making fake love in a motel, make one company rich enough to sell while simultaneously building another from scratch and land a Victoria Secret gig.
28. MST3k wouldn't know where to begin.
29. If someone tries to steal your gas can, simply wait until they, without cause, begin walking backwards, from you and their own getaway car, so the "birds" can "ironically" take them out.
30. Knocking off $1,000 off a $20,000 home solar panel is a steal.
31. Using two different Thai restaurant fronts in two simultaneous shots doesn't just equate a mistake; it makes you stupid.
32. "And on with the traffic report: 'Well, traffic is running smoothly on Cabrillo Highway, but make sure you watch out for tons of cars on the shoulder that contains what looks like moving dead people. No heh they're not zombies, but even if they were, the couple with the toy guns should take care of them.'"
33. Find yourself under attack from "birds" but that darned tourist bus just isn't holding up? Well, listen to a stranger and gather your thoughts in the fresh air, under the blue sky in plain view of the very birds you're trying to avoid.
34. If a "bird scientist" tells you to stand back, simply walk up to him and just ask him to talk. It will throw him so far off, he'll have no choice in attempting to fill some plot holes in your movie. Unsuccessfully but still.
35. Dialogue should never be plagiarized from Bazooka Joe Comics.
36. Sound effects and boom mics should be used to enhance the feature, not cause further ridicule.
37. These "birds" seem more bent on revenge than Jaws did in his fourth installment.
38. Long before Birdemic was made and someone asked the director when it was supposed to be made, his response should've been: The Day After Tomorrow repeatedly.
39. "Why can't we just give peace a chance?" is not a good movie quote in this weapon of mass destruction of a film that should've been dropped over the Taliban.
40. Dissecting this movie on every single flaw is only fruitless to anyone other than a film school teacher – believe me, it would take me HOURS to scrutinize everything wrong here. Instead: grab a beer or thirty, gather some friends and laugh away an hour and a half of purely hilarious entertainment.