Although the latest Nicolas Cage epic eclipses his previous potboiler "Season of the Witch," "My Bloody Valentine" director Patrick Lussier's "Drive Angry" qualifies as a fast-paced, campy, white-trash, B-movie thriller about a gun-toting fugitive fresh out of Hades who struggles to save his infant granddaughter from a Satanic cult set on slaughtering her. Blood-splattered, babe-strewn, and bullet-riddled, this half-grilled collection of grindhouse clichés delivers non-stop action that you've seen before in better movies like "Shoot'em Up," "Crank," and "Machete." The only ounce of originality in this hard-boiled, hare-brained hokum is a melodramatic motel room massacre. A half-clad Cage in sunglasses, clutching a fifth of Jack Daniels in one fist and an automatic pistol in the other, mows down a mob of murderous miscreants as they storm into his room. Just to show how incredibly cool that our hero is under fire, Lussier and co-scenarist Todd Farmer have his adversaries barge in on him in the middle of a tryst with a naked cocktail waitress. Of course, the deafening gunfight traumatizes the poor tramp. Meantime, our imperturbable protagonist misses nary a stroke until his pistol clicks on empty, and the last thug stands poised to polish him off. "Drive Angry" is a supernatural saga with cars careening around in a "Dukes of Hazzard" demolition derby without a modicum of realism. Nevertheless, despite all its audacious abandon and above-average 3-D photography, this contrived, R-rated fantasy lacks a shred of genuine suspense. Wholly predictable as well as pedestrian from start to finish, this contrived Cage road rage serves up drivel for dialogue and muscle car stunts that pale by comparison with the "Fast & Furious" franchise.
"Drive Angry" opens in Laughter, Colorado. Our enigmatic hero, John Milton (Nicolas Cage of "Face/Off"), has miraculously managed to escape from Perdition. No, we're neither told how he accomplished this feat nor the consequences he now confronts. When we first see him, Milton is behind the wheel of a hot rod with an automatic shotgun. He runs down three repellent ruffians who work for the sadistic satanic cult leader Jonah King (Billy Burke of "Twilight") so he can learn the whereabouts of his infant granddaughter. King murdered Milton's daughter and son-in-law and wields her femur as a walking stick. King is leading his minions to a derelict prison in southern Louisiana to sacrifice the child during a bizarre full moon ritual. Just to show that he is serious about his aims; Cage blows one thug's hand off with a blast from his shotgun. He shoots another thug in the leg and threatens to turn his thigh into ground chuck if he doesn't talk. Naturally, the wounded man divulges King's destination.
During this opening gunfight, our hero loses his car and winds up afoot. He trudges no farther than a roadside diner where he catches a ride with a nubile waitress, Piper (Amber Heard of "Pineapple Express"), who has just quit her job because her lecherous boss got fresh with her. Piper is cruising home to her out-of-work boyfriend when her 1969 Dodge Charger overheats and comes to a halt. As if on cue, Milton shows up out of nowhere, takes a gander under the hood, and then tweaks something. In no time flat, they are heading to see her sweetheart. Earlier, Piper had boasted to another waitress about how she had cut her boyfriend off from having sex with her until he proposed marriage. Imagine Piper's surprise when she finds Frank (Todd Farmer of "Jason-X") in bed bumping another beauty. A bare-knuckled brawl between Frank's slut and Piper erupts, and Pipe finds herself at Frank's mercy until Milton intervenes. She agrees to drive Milton to Louisiana. Along about this time, another mysterious individual makes his entrance. A man in a suit and tie who calls himself the Accountant (William Fichtner of "Heat") is after Milton and plans to take him back. Milton and the Accountant engage in a game of cat and mouse throughout "Drive Angry." Although they appear to be adversaries, the Accountant helps Milton out of some pretty tight predicaments, particularly a sheriff's roadblock where an army of lawmen plan to shoot our hero to smithereens. The Accountant likes to toss around a magical coin that can either change into FBI agent credentials or a deadly weapon. Indeed, he throws it at a bad guy, and it sinks half-way into the brute's forehead and kills him.
"Drive Angry" comes by its R-rating naturally. The F-word is uttered about 75 times in a variety of variations. When the women aren't displaying ample cleavage, they are parading around as naked as jaybirds without a qualm. The violence is somewhat extreme. At one point, we see the villainous Jonah brandish a straight razor and slash a man's throat. Although the blade is never shown penetrating flesh, the filmmakers show a geyser of blood splashing a nearby wall. Hands are blown off. Heads are cut off. A baseball bat is used to skewer a man's torso, and the unhappy hooligan writhes in agony as he is pinned to a wall. The ultimate act of violence occurs when a heavy is disintegrated by a so called 'god gun' that deprives the individual of his soul so he can neither land in Heaven or Hell. Our triumphant hero guzzles a cold beer from the dead man's shattered cranium. Ghoulish as all this sounds, Lussier and Farmer play everything for macabre laughs. Indeed, nothing in "Drive Angry" is remotely realistic. Unfortunately, virtually everything is so phony that it provides little in the way of catharsis. You know an action movie is in trouble when the demise of the chief villain yields no relief. "Drive Angry" steps on the gas but winds up going nowhere in the long run.
"Drive Angry" opens in Laughter, Colorado. Our enigmatic hero, John Milton (Nicolas Cage of "Face/Off"), has miraculously managed to escape from Perdition. No, we're neither told how he accomplished this feat nor the consequences he now confronts. When we first see him, Milton is behind the wheel of a hot rod with an automatic shotgun. He runs down three repellent ruffians who work for the sadistic satanic cult leader Jonah King (Billy Burke of "Twilight") so he can learn the whereabouts of his infant granddaughter. King murdered Milton's daughter and son-in-law and wields her femur as a walking stick. King is leading his minions to a derelict prison in southern Louisiana to sacrifice the child during a bizarre full moon ritual. Just to show that he is serious about his aims; Cage blows one thug's hand off with a blast from his shotgun. He shoots another thug in the leg and threatens to turn his thigh into ground chuck if he doesn't talk. Naturally, the wounded man divulges King's destination.
During this opening gunfight, our hero loses his car and winds up afoot. He trudges no farther than a roadside diner where he catches a ride with a nubile waitress, Piper (Amber Heard of "Pineapple Express"), who has just quit her job because her lecherous boss got fresh with her. Piper is cruising home to her out-of-work boyfriend when her 1969 Dodge Charger overheats and comes to a halt. As if on cue, Milton shows up out of nowhere, takes a gander under the hood, and then tweaks something. In no time flat, they are heading to see her sweetheart. Earlier, Piper had boasted to another waitress about how she had cut her boyfriend off from having sex with her until he proposed marriage. Imagine Piper's surprise when she finds Frank (Todd Farmer of "Jason-X") in bed bumping another beauty. A bare-knuckled brawl between Frank's slut and Piper erupts, and Pipe finds herself at Frank's mercy until Milton intervenes. She agrees to drive Milton to Louisiana. Along about this time, another mysterious individual makes his entrance. A man in a suit and tie who calls himself the Accountant (William Fichtner of "Heat") is after Milton and plans to take him back. Milton and the Accountant engage in a game of cat and mouse throughout "Drive Angry." Although they appear to be adversaries, the Accountant helps Milton out of some pretty tight predicaments, particularly a sheriff's roadblock where an army of lawmen plan to shoot our hero to smithereens. The Accountant likes to toss around a magical coin that can either change into FBI agent credentials or a deadly weapon. Indeed, he throws it at a bad guy, and it sinks half-way into the brute's forehead and kills him.
"Drive Angry" comes by its R-rating naturally. The F-word is uttered about 75 times in a variety of variations. When the women aren't displaying ample cleavage, they are parading around as naked as jaybirds without a qualm. The violence is somewhat extreme. At one point, we see the villainous Jonah brandish a straight razor and slash a man's throat. Although the blade is never shown penetrating flesh, the filmmakers show a geyser of blood splashing a nearby wall. Hands are blown off. Heads are cut off. A baseball bat is used to skewer a man's torso, and the unhappy hooligan writhes in agony as he is pinned to a wall. The ultimate act of violence occurs when a heavy is disintegrated by a so called 'god gun' that deprives the individual of his soul so he can neither land in Heaven or Hell. Our triumphant hero guzzles a cold beer from the dead man's shattered cranium. Ghoulish as all this sounds, Lussier and Farmer play everything for macabre laughs. Indeed, nothing in "Drive Angry" is remotely realistic. Unfortunately, virtually everything is so phony that it provides little in the way of catharsis. You know an action movie is in trouble when the demise of the chief villain yields no relief. "Drive Angry" steps on the gas but winds up going nowhere in the long run.