Millions, two huge stars, a director with a reputation and a fictional sounding name, and of course, Venice! Nothing works, nothing! The chemistry between Depp and Jolie is virtually non existent. She is dressed in ridiculous, supposedly elegant, gowns but she looks as if she's wearing costumes. Remember Audrey Hepburn? She was never worn by her dresses, she was ahead. The dialog is not to be believed - Julian Fellowes is listed among the writers but, I can't believe it's true. The meet-cute on the train, done so beautifully in th past by a variety of directors and stars, falls flat here, flat! Johnny Depp is one of my favorites but here he looks puffy and detached. How can anyone managed to make Depp look bad? I don't know but they did. Jolie is a big star but here, she seems unused to wear dresses. I couldn't believe her walk through Venice. "Hot to Trot" comes o mind. Imagine, Audrey Hepburn walking purposely through Venice in a ball gown. Or Carole Lombard, or Grace Kelly, or Loren or Deneuve, Gene Tirney, Kay Kendall... I can think of dozens. This was really bad. The only saving grace a running joke that has Depp's character, not speaking Italian, speaks Spanish to the Italians and the Italians respond in Spanish, specially the scene with Christian De Sica (son of Vittorio) in which De Sica replays "De nada" So, the lesson learned is the eternal cliché. Not everything that glitters is gold. And this one, from a distance, glittered, big time
Review of The Tourist
