THAR SHE BLOWS! was one of many Dave Friedman soft porn films I saw back in my drive-in days of the 1970s. It is among his worst offerings, a case of pure exploitation (i.e., marketing) overwhelming the need to deliver a quality product. All sizzle, no steak.
This is amply demonstrated by the trailer: a non-stop array of stupid, leering double entendres beginning with the film's attention-getting title. Just as modern Hollywood has its high-concept, in la-la land's porno division there are empty one-liner packages like this one that get made and released too.
Stalwart softy actor Steve Vincent is stuck in the unplayable role of Capt. Frigate (there's two puns in one!), who we find out was castrated by some toughs, and is understandably grumpy ever since. In pointlessly trick casting, the B-girl who was humping when the guys bloodily cut him off at the pass is played by winsome Shari Mann, who reappears in a dual role as a charter customer on his boat named Teddi -bringing back all those painful memories (groan).
Creaky plot has a pair of familiar genre faces Stuart Lancaster and John Alderman as kind of a master/slave vaudeville act -they have chartered Frigate's boat and brought along Teddi and two cute little blondes for entertainment. Major subplot has Frigate's even cuter blonde sister Sally (alluring Chris Mathis) sleeping with the first mate (the puns just keep on coming) played by the always-slimy French Canadian porn veteran Alain Patrick, much to Capt. Frigate's chagrin. Dumbest joke is Alderman's screen name: Phil Latio.
The sex scenes are ho-hum and the games of humiliation between Stu & John fairly idiotic, until the film delivers a ludicrous climax. Film's crumminess is exemplified by Stu's voice-over summation: "Every Captain Ahab is slain by his own private Moby Dick".
By porn standards this is an able cast, but left at sea by such a horrendous script, credited to producer Friedman and director Richard Kanter. The cast and filmmakers were reunited for an entertaining self-spoof of the porn industry STARLET!, in which Stu & John have the same character names but are playing entirely different roles.
This is amply demonstrated by the trailer: a non-stop array of stupid, leering double entendres beginning with the film's attention-getting title. Just as modern Hollywood has its high-concept, in la-la land's porno division there are empty one-liner packages like this one that get made and released too.
Stalwart softy actor Steve Vincent is stuck in the unplayable role of Capt. Frigate (there's two puns in one!), who we find out was castrated by some toughs, and is understandably grumpy ever since. In pointlessly trick casting, the B-girl who was humping when the guys bloodily cut him off at the pass is played by winsome Shari Mann, who reappears in a dual role as a charter customer on his boat named Teddi -bringing back all those painful memories (groan).
Creaky plot has a pair of familiar genre faces Stuart Lancaster and John Alderman as kind of a master/slave vaudeville act -they have chartered Frigate's boat and brought along Teddi and two cute little blondes for entertainment. Major subplot has Frigate's even cuter blonde sister Sally (alluring Chris Mathis) sleeping with the first mate (the puns just keep on coming) played by the always-slimy French Canadian porn veteran Alain Patrick, much to Capt. Frigate's chagrin. Dumbest joke is Alderman's screen name: Phil Latio.
The sex scenes are ho-hum and the games of humiliation between Stu & John fairly idiotic, until the film delivers a ludicrous climax. Film's crumminess is exemplified by Stu's voice-over summation: "Every Captain Ahab is slain by his own private Moby Dick".
By porn standards this is an able cast, but left at sea by such a horrendous script, credited to producer Friedman and director Richard Kanter. The cast and filmmakers were reunited for an entertaining self-spoof of the porn industry STARLET!, in which Stu & John have the same character names but are playing entirely different roles.