Review of The Devil's Wedding Night

"The Devil's Wedding Night" is a perfect example of everything that bugs me about Eurohorror. It boasts every cruddy cliché you can think of--magic rings and amulets, chanting Satanists, goofy-looking fake vampire teeth, and nudity out the wazoo--but has none of the style or atmosphere of, say, a Mario Bava film. Nothing inherently wrong with nudity, of course...but director Luigi Batzella pads this clunker with too much of it, hoping that T&A will prevent the viewer from dwelling on the lack of scares. No such luck. Mark Damon (who looks as if he'd done some hard living after starring in "House of Usher" and "Black Sabbath" a decade earlier) plays twin brothers Franz and Karl, both of whom are menaced by a beautiful but sinister countess (Rosalba Neri, who appears here as 'Sara Bay') in her gloomy castle. The countess has a scowling lesbian servant and a bald, apparently mute henchman whose cuspids are each about a foot long; eventually, some naked virgins and guys in executioners' hoods show up for an ill-defined, Black Mass- type ceremony which takes place once every fifty years. Or something. None of it makes a hell of a lot of sense. If you're not picky about your horror, or if you just want to have a good laugh, I guess "The Devil's Wedding Night" is an acceptable way to pass eighty minutes of your life. Everyone else is advised to steer clear.