7/10
Conan the Destroyer
23 November 2009
Warning: Spoilers
The great warrior, Conan, is promised the return of his beloved Valeria if he will lead a quest to find a horn which belongs to an evil god, Dagoth. Along this journey, accompanied by the princess of whose kingdom worships Dagoth and her giant guardian, Conan will find others to assist him along the way as they come across heavy resistance and danger to their mission to retrieve the horn.

I've read many considering this a homage of sorts to Seven Samurai, and while it does contain a group joining forces to defeat a powerful enemy, this is more of an adventure tale with sword and sorcery(..absent the nudity and gore from Conan the Barbarian which actually appeals to those yearning for the more gratuitous elements sacrificed to obtain a larger audience). Quite an eclectic group we follow, too. Grace Jones as a tribal warrior. Wilt Chamberlain as the princess' guard who we all know could turn on Conan any moment. Mako as a powerful magician whose saved from nearly being a feast for a cannibal tribe. Jeff Corey as a thief who swallows gems he steals. Olivia d'Abo, the virginal princess who secretly desires Conan.

The most unfortunate decision was a limited Sarah Douglas who is perfect as the sinister Queen Taramis who wants to sacrifice d'Abo so that she can command Dagoth to do her will, with designs on ruling the world..she gets little screen time which is a shame, because she's so wonderfully evil Instead the film spends a lot of time on the journey with Conan, Bombaata(Chamberlain), and princess Jehnna(d'Abo)gathering up allies, encountering opposition, providing fans with plenty of swordplay.

A little bloodier than I had remembered, but nowhere near as ultra-violent as Conan the Barbarian. Arnold Schwarzenegger was in fine form during this period, but the movie doesn't demand him to flex in acting muscle, just his pecks when he wields his sword at his adversaries. Most often chuckle at Chamberlain's performance, but, let's be honest, we all know he was hired for his towering presence not his acting chops. Grace Jones goes all out as she normally does, with a giant stick, battling men with swords, eyes bulging, hyena screeching, the works. The Mexico locations provide this film with the proper setting needed for warriors battling in caves, deserts, and under the hot sun. Far less serious approach is applied here compared to Conan the Barbarian which might be why it received less critical reception. Most of the graphic violence is shot away from the viewers' eyes, certain to earn a PG rating, but what did the filmmakers sacrifice in return? Contains another masterful Basil Poledouris score, adding a riveting thrill to the battles not to mention providing Conan with a majestic aura.
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