A policeman being slashed to pieces by a group of feral tunnel dwellers would make for a pretty sobering sight, you would have thought. Yet the alcohol must still be seriously affecting the decision making skills of the pitiless morons trapped in the abandoned subway, on what must surely be the worst stumble home from the pub ever. Everyone knows that if you go into an dark tunnel late at night, sooner or later you're going to wander into the path of knife wielding maniacs. That's a given. Or at least it needs to be in the case of this film, as there's absolutely no attempt to explain their presence. You just have to accept the fact that a group of people would rather live in the subway, killing strangers and living off their flesh, than live in the city of New York, a few feet above them. Our stag party, rather predictably, are picked off one by one, interspersed with long periods of slow motion running. None of the cretins seem to learn from the mistakes of the previous victim, despite the fact that they spend a lot of time standing around watching their friends get brutally murdered. Intervening is out of the question too as their heroics are limited to sacrificing themselves so that the others can escape. But as already mentioned, rather than run away, everyone stands around and watches the poor meat puppet die. Usually in slow motion. These ultimate sacrifices are supposed to make us feel some sort of sympathy for those involved, but it's so badly done that it's difficult to feel anything other than hysterics. The leader of the knife wielding maniacs (you can tell he's the leader because he's the tallest) gurns at his victims in such an odd way that it looks like someone's just shoved something up his bum hole. Maybe that's why he spends the whole time grunting. Essentially this is a film that lacks any kind of imagination. It steals from so many other horrors yet fails to mould anything decent with its bounty. What they should have done is made a film called "Hen Night" and had a load of hotties running about. The characters would have been equally irritating but at least it would have been easy on the eye.
Review of Stag Night
