The Norseman is about as historically accurate as Abe Lincoln defeating the Nazis while riding a T-Rex. Charles B. Pierce's take on the Vikings landing on an 11th century North America casts Lee Majors as six million dollar norseman, or as he insists on pronouncing it norzeman, Thorvald who takes his crew on a perilous quest to find out why his father and his crew never returned from a far away land. If he fails will the crew make him the fall guy? Sorry couldn't resist. After landing in the Tampa/St. Pete neighborhood and mistaking it for Newfoundland (happens all the time) Thorvald and his crew of mixed bag warriors including two NFL hall of famers in Deacon Jones and Fred Biletnikoff just so happen to land in not only the same spot as the first crew but find the very Caucasian looking native Americans who imprisoned them. What luck! A startling number of these natives are overweight giving credence that maybe it wasn't wars or European diseases that wiped out the Indians rather massive heart failures. After consulting the ridiculous wizard that no one knows what his face looks like except for the fact that in every scene you can clearly see Jack Elam's googly-eyed mug, the vikings go out in search of where the natives are holding the remaining survivors. With the help of a young female squaw who's outfit is more adequate for lap dances rather than rain, Thorvald and his crew fight the massive hordes of Indians, save the old man, and high tail it back north minus a few brave souls that lost their lives thanks to the dreaded arrow to the rear end.
Not surprisingly Lee Majors is about as convincing a Viking as Deacon Jones is. With his cheesy mustache and helmet that looks like an accessory for a Gothic S&M outfit, Majors' dry line-reading and lifeless performance had me rooting for the "badguys". It's amazing how advanced the Vikings pulley technology seems as they hoisted the sails for the great getaway. At this point in the film I was half hoping that they all boarded a 727 and flew home since believability went out the door as soon as Florida was mistaken for Canada. The film uses the same song over and over to the point where a Viking can't take a dump in the river without it blasting in the background. This is a hard film to find and one that rarely gets mentioned with any other of Charles B. Pierce's works. Little wonder why but nonetheless worthy of viewing if you can track this down just to see probably the most absurdly hokey Viking movie ever made.
Not surprisingly Lee Majors is about as convincing a Viking as Deacon Jones is. With his cheesy mustache and helmet that looks like an accessory for a Gothic S&M outfit, Majors' dry line-reading and lifeless performance had me rooting for the "badguys". It's amazing how advanced the Vikings pulley technology seems as they hoisted the sails for the great getaway. At this point in the film I was half hoping that they all boarded a 727 and flew home since believability went out the door as soon as Florida was mistaken for Canada. The film uses the same song over and over to the point where a Viking can't take a dump in the river without it blasting in the background. This is a hard film to find and one that rarely gets mentioned with any other of Charles B. Pierce's works. Little wonder why but nonetheless worthy of viewing if you can track this down just to see probably the most absurdly hokey Viking movie ever made.