Following the proud tradition of such terrible 2009 comedies as "Observe & Report," "Year One," "I Love You, Beth Cooper," "The Goods" and "Post Grad," this newest misadventure by first-time director Phil Traill may just lower the bar for others to come.
Sandra Bullock stars as Mary Horowitz, an idiot savant - without the savant - crossword puzzle creator for a local Sacramento newspaper who decides - for some bizarre reason - to stalk a blind date, Steve (Bradley Cooper, "Wedding Crashers," "The Hangover"), a cable news channel cameraman.
Her obsession with him begins immediately, and a decidedly creepy early scene takes place in his SUV as the demented Mary practically dates rapes him even before the date begins! Realizing that she is a few sandwiches shy of a picnic, Steve boots her out and takes a powder to his next breaking news assignment - in Arizona.
Joining him is his producer, Angus (Ken Jeong, "The Hangover," "The Goods") and on-air talent, reporter Hartman Hughes (Thomas Hayden Church, an Oscar nominee for "Sideways"). Meanwhile, Mary has turned in a crossword puzzle entitled "All Above Steve" and, of course, loses her job. She now goes on a cross country trek to catch the elusive Steve, who travels from Arizona to Oklahoma to Colorado to Texas.
In Oklahoma - where the big story is two parents suing for custody of a baby born with a third leg (the mother wants to have it amputated, the father doesn't - oh who cares?!), Mary comes close to killing her victim and then runs into a couple of characters almost as depressingly idiotic as she is, the inbred cracker, Elizabeth (Katy Mixon, "State Of Play"), and the goofy, apple-carving Howard (the 48-pound D.J. Qualls).
The troupe then follows the news crew to Texas to cover a hurricane and and a badly-CGIed tornado before heading off to Colorado where a group of deaf children fall hundreds of feet into an abandoned mine shaft (real funny, so far). In an attempt to reach Steve, however, Mary takes a plunge into the hole herself, causing the entire nation to focus on HER rescue attempt.
I don't know why, though. There's nothing about this Mary that is even remotely interesting. In fact, Bullock portrays her as as a female "Rain Man," walking around (in clunky red boots) in a kind of catatonic daze and spouting so much useless information it's a wonder someone didn't stuff her into a dumpster years before.
Not only does she bore everyone in the movie to death with her useless bits of information, but the audience, as well. On top of that, she stupefies us with reels of unnecessary narration, too.
Add this to the fact that there was just ONE solid laugh in this movie -for me, anyway, and that the picture was in the can for almost two years, and you easily have one of the worst comedies of The Year of the Unfunny. And it's films like this make me long for the lucid, intelligent, well-thought-out humor of Mike Myers' "Love Guru."
Sandra Bullock stars as Mary Horowitz, an idiot savant - without the savant - crossword puzzle creator for a local Sacramento newspaper who decides - for some bizarre reason - to stalk a blind date, Steve (Bradley Cooper, "Wedding Crashers," "The Hangover"), a cable news channel cameraman.
Her obsession with him begins immediately, and a decidedly creepy early scene takes place in his SUV as the demented Mary practically dates rapes him even before the date begins! Realizing that she is a few sandwiches shy of a picnic, Steve boots her out and takes a powder to his next breaking news assignment - in Arizona.
Joining him is his producer, Angus (Ken Jeong, "The Hangover," "The Goods") and on-air talent, reporter Hartman Hughes (Thomas Hayden Church, an Oscar nominee for "Sideways"). Meanwhile, Mary has turned in a crossword puzzle entitled "All Above Steve" and, of course, loses her job. She now goes on a cross country trek to catch the elusive Steve, who travels from Arizona to Oklahoma to Colorado to Texas.
In Oklahoma - where the big story is two parents suing for custody of a baby born with a third leg (the mother wants to have it amputated, the father doesn't - oh who cares?!), Mary comes close to killing her victim and then runs into a couple of characters almost as depressingly idiotic as she is, the inbred cracker, Elizabeth (Katy Mixon, "State Of Play"), and the goofy, apple-carving Howard (the 48-pound D.J. Qualls).
The troupe then follows the news crew to Texas to cover a hurricane and and a badly-CGIed tornado before heading off to Colorado where a group of deaf children fall hundreds of feet into an abandoned mine shaft (real funny, so far). In an attempt to reach Steve, however, Mary takes a plunge into the hole herself, causing the entire nation to focus on HER rescue attempt.
I don't know why, though. There's nothing about this Mary that is even remotely interesting. In fact, Bullock portrays her as as a female "Rain Man," walking around (in clunky red boots) in a kind of catatonic daze and spouting so much useless information it's a wonder someone didn't stuff her into a dumpster years before.
Not only does she bore everyone in the movie to death with her useless bits of information, but the audience, as well. On top of that, she stupefies us with reels of unnecessary narration, too.
Add this to the fact that there was just ONE solid laugh in this movie -for me, anyway, and that the picture was in the can for almost two years, and you easily have one of the worst comedies of The Year of the Unfunny. And it's films like this make me long for the lucid, intelligent, well-thought-out humor of Mike Myers' "Love Guru."