Review of The Coffin

The Coffin (2008)
3/10
Horrifyingly bad.
24 December 2008
Warning: Spoilers
If only because of its sheer incompetence to terrify at all.

I'm not a horror fan. I never watch horror movies unless I'm forced to, because I know I'm going to be so scared I won't be able to sleep that night. Yes, I'm that easily scared. In this case, a friend was treating me to a movie, and she was a horror fan, so I went to watch this.

Critics never spoil great movies because they're just so great. But they spoil the bad ones because it's so bad.

The premise for the movie actually sounded good. It sounds like it's gonna be a hell of a horror movie. But the director failed to deliver. He only used the usual cheap screamers to try to "horrify" the audience. There was one good scene which actually made me hug myself, and that was when the main dude what's-his-name was in the coffin, and that girl was crawling up at him and he was having a panic attack. It's a real shame it took place at the front of the movie, because that set the standard for the rest of it... And the "rest of it" didn't match up at all. There was another scene when the main guy's girlfriend went into a cremation incinerator, and it shows the corpse inside hugging the girl while there was this sea of fire all around the coffin! You have to see the video to believe me when I say that the whole scene made me laugh outright in the (almost empty) theater.

I can spoil every single bit of the scary parts for you, but I'm just too lazy to type out everything, because almost all the "scary" scenes were bad. This movie has too many tame parts and too little really disturbing ones. 3/10, because it has good picture and the male lead's acting was good. I could tell that he was doing his best to save the movie, but you can blame the director for making such an interesting premise so tame.
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