Star Crystal (1986)
2/10
Is this for real?
1 December 2008
Oh this wasn't good. Far from it! The problem here is that isn't entertaining and it seems to get worse as it goes along, but 'Star Crystal' is a hard one to get your head around. Everything looks bare bones… and it is. But what does it in, is that it just lounging about… aimlessly. It was completely dull and uneventfully drawn out. Wooden performances, drably second-rate sets and vapid dialogues in the mould of 'Alien (1979)'. Truly routine, but a z-grade rehash! We get some tentacle action as the meagre crew are quickly picked off when they encounter the threat. So it's the survival of the fittest, with some minor hopeless diversions. Then it spontaneously changes course in the last 10 minutes (you'll see), and I don't know what the film-makers were thinking. It was so unhinged and ridiculous; you could be mistaken in asking "Was it the same movie?" However talk about cheese… super cheesy and laughable! 'can we just get along?' And wait for the sweetly weeping closing song about crystal… Oh why? Saying it was goofy is an understatement, but hey you can't see this one coming.

The special effects must have received top-billing, (no it did, but scrap the meteor shower sequence) with few icky inclusions and dashes of blood, but it's still a spotty display. The creature is mixture of a slug and fluorescent E.T., as we watch it morph from a puddle that dripped off some outerspace crystal. The score has that dreamy, soft edge that seems to meld in quite well.
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